


Unwilling Wife

by BB_Eight



Category: Star Wars, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi
Genre: Bb-unit, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Escape, Eventual Romance, F/M, Princess - Freeform, Reader-Insert, Slow Burn, Smut, Wedding, droid companion, makeout, space travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-21
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-02-18 03:52:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 29,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13091856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BB_Eight/pseuds/BB_Eight
Summary: Your system is taken over by the First Order and as decreed by Snoke, you are forced to marry Kylo Ren. Less than pleased, you attempt to take fate into your own handsTakes place before during and after the events of The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi





	1. Wedding Woes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You didn't want to do this.

You stared numbly down at the heavy ring that sat upon your left ring finger. It gleamed dully, the deep redness of the gem looking like a small puddle of blood. The ring was gaudy, the silver band twisted together like ribbons of ivy, flecks of rose gold looking like leaves. The gem, or rather kyber crystal sat at the pinnacle of the twisting, a sickening blossom. It was big and sat awkwardly upon your delicate hand. 

You hated it. This violent and ugly engagement ring. When it had first been given to you, you had wished to throw it as hard as you could. But you refrained, knowing that cracking the crystal would result in an explosion that would not only kill you but nearly half the palace.

“My lady?” A tentative voice asked. You hunched your shoulders, allowing your left hand to drop back into your lap. Turning slightly, you glanced sidelong at the woman who stood nervously in the doorway.

It was Oola, your personal handmaiden. The two of you had grown up side by side. You learning to be a commanding princess, her learning to serve you and take care of your every need. Despite you being of human race and her being Twi’lek, you had until certain point, assumed her your sister. The foolish thoughts of a child.

“Yes?” You asked tiredly, turning back to stare at your face in the mirror. You looked like hell. Face pale and sallow. No doubt from a lack of sleep. You prodded gently at the bags under your eyes. This was not the face of a Princess, but rather of a prisoner.

Isn’t that what you always were? A prisoner? You had no control over your life. You never had. Your entire family was just a figurehead. Puppets covering up the hidden master’s that controlled every decision. The First Order. They had swooped in and through force, made your parents and you the ultimate puppets. Your family ruled not just a planet, but an entire system. Nestled within the Centrality, You ruled the Oseon system. Full of wealthy people and resources for trade, it was no wonder that The First Order had swooped in to take control.

Ruling the Centrality also gave them a tactical advantage, putting them close to Hutt territory. Though the large Space worms were nasty and backstabbers, they had no issue with The First Order. The First Order, however, seemed to have no trust for anyone. Watching their allies like hawks. 

“Your mother has sent me to get you ready, My lady.” Worry was seeping across Oola’s face. Her Lekku (the head tentacles her race had) twitching ever so slightly. You noted she was already in traditional attire for the event. 

The entertainment for the First Order. 

The light white of her garments and headdress stood in pretty contrast with her purplish-blue skin. You were saddened by the sight. She would never wear the silvers and greys of marriage. In your kingdom while she had a few more freedoms than you, she was still considered less than a petty street urchin. Not even allowed to marry or have children if she so pleased. It sickened you.

Stomach churning, you looked back into the mirror. The woman staring back had pleading eyes now. Fear coiling and twisting your pretty face into that of a cornered animal.

Because you were.

You had no choice. You were to marry the man who had sent you the ugly ring. You were to be his doting wife. You were to bear his offspring. All because Snoke, whoever he was, had decreed it so. 

Your mother had been force sensitive and she had passed it to you. Her mother before her had been as well and her mother before her. Because of this, it had been assumed that the women in your family, would always, always, bear children with force abilities. And Snoke, Supreme Leader of making assumptions, had figured your union with Commander Ren, would result in the next line of powerful sith. 

You sat silently as Oola pulled your long hair into an elaborate up-do. The numbness came back, enveloping you like a friend. You watched her pin the elaborate jewels and silver. It was like watching one of the market bakers decorate a cake. It disgusted you.  
Next was the dress, you slipped out of your simple bath robe and stood on the stool Oola had brought in.

First was the elaborate undergarments. Made of spider thing silk strands, the straps criss-crossed your body. You felt like a doll, silently standing as Oola tightened or loosened the intimate garments. They barely covered you. Shoulders bare and the idiotic straps barely holding your breasts up. You knew that was the point, but it sickened you. Now the dress.The girl brought over the long heavy garment, helping you step into it. The light grey fabric reminded you of clouds after rain. It shifted silky against your skin, the feeling wasn’t comforting, it scared you. It too left your shoulders bare and you wondered why briefly. After fastening the clasps in the back, Oola tugged a corset around your waist, cinching it as tight as she could. The ornately embroidered item dug into your side, uncomfortable and cumbersome. 

You ran your hands over the black stitching. It was like a reversed night sky, black constellations spreading across your ribs and stomach in a sky of silvery-grey. 

You looked into the mirror that lay from wall to wall on one end of your room. A woman you didn’t recognize looked back. Her shoulders bare, neck fluting up elegantly. The grey dress swirling around her legs, fluting out at her waist. The corset accentuated your hips and breast, which you supposed was the point. You were a birthing sow to these men, nothing more. As far as they were concerned, you weren’t truly a person.

You hated it, hated them. 

“Oh Lady Y/N.” Oola looked as if she might cry. Tears welling in her large, blue eyes. You patted her shoulder absentmindedly. You wanted it over as soon as possible. She sensed this and guided you back to your vanity table.

You sat once more, staring dully at your reflection. Oola swiftly brushed colouration powder over your cheeks, it reversed you palor, making you look more alive. Outlining your eyes with dark grey, a small tear drifted down her cheek. She was barely keeping it together. Lastly, was your lips. The red that went across them reminded you of your engagement ring, of blood. Of the carnage of the First Order. 

Finally, you were done. Or so you thought.

“Your….. Your fiance sent an early wedding gift.” Oola whispered, retrieving a box you hadn’t realized she’d brought in. 

“I’ll open it later.” You answered dully, standing and turning away from her. You heard her sigh shakily. Her hand gently grasped your shoulder, turning you about.

“He insists.” In her eyes was fear, sadness, hopelessness. She was just as broken as you, yet still completing her job. As you should. Squaring your shoulders, you stood strong and tall. Taking the box in your hands, you stared for a moment. It was black, like everything sent by the First Order, made of metal, it was cold upon your fingers. You gently opened it, dreading what may be inside.

A necklace, made of the same crystals as your engagement ring, lay inside upon black velvet. Your stomach churned as you stared down. Both items, the ring ad necklace, felt like dog collars. You were a possession to this man, not a person and certainly not an equal. 

Oola took it gingerly in her fingers, her face masking disgust. Placing it around your neck, she clasped it gently and stepped back. You turned and look in the mirror. The heavy necklace sat against your bare throat, crystals brilliant against your flesh. The placing of them, on the strands of silver chain, made it look like your throat had been slit and was weeping jewels rather than blood. 

It was time for the sacrifice.

You turned away, skirts swirling about you, rain clouds of silk against your skin. Slipping on the matching heels, you beckoned Oola to your side. She looked, with wavering, unsure eyes.

“We must be strong Oola. For our people’s sake.” You stated, more for your sake then hers. Taking her hand, you opened your rooms doors and exited them for the last time. You glanced back once, as the doors closed. Your reflection was all you saw. A woman in grey, a prisoner being transferred to a new cell.

Facing forward once more, you walked with an aloof air, refusing to look at the guards who fell into line behind you and your quivering handmaiden.  
Oola’s hand slipped out of yours as you both adopted a more professional stance. Your heels clicking and echoing emptily in the long, empty halls. All the servants were either in the kitchen or reception area, ready to provide the best service to the galaxies many.

As you approached the room, your heart grew more violent in its beating. You were afraid, you wanted to run. Each step felt like a step closer to an ongoing battle. You were willing walking towards death, destruction and unbridled hatred. You could feel him, your husband to be, a mass of hatred that stood beyond the ornate doors of the reception room. You stood, face to face with the door, not wanting to go in.

But the guards that had followed you pushed the heavy doors open. Oola let out a tiny gasp, fear evident. Her hand grasped the back of your dress, trembling. You stepped forward and she followed, leaning to grabbing the trailing ends of your skirts and hold the train as you walked in unison. 

The path leading up to the altar was long. Too long. It gave you much too much time to think. Fear rippled around your mind like a fish attempting to find a way out of a sealed jar. Behind you, your train shook slightly. You didn’t turn, not wanting to falter, knowing Oola was crying silently for you. Mourning you. You wished to cry with her, to wail and hold each other while the world crumbled about you. 

You had to be strong. Ignoring the eyes and whispers, you continued, halfway there. On one side, sat your family, favoured servants and various politicians and socialites of your system. On the other, in stark contrast of the traditional greys and whites of wedding, sat the officials and favoured of the First Order, their black garb pin straight. They all looked with baleful eyes and hissing mouths that no doubt whispered criticisms of you and your handmaiden. 

Nearly there. Your heels hit the beginning of the black carpet, muffled now. Like your people. Their voices muffled by the oppressing hand of the First Order. You looked now, at the one who enforced the hand. Your husband to be.

He stood tall, taller than any man you had ever seen before. Grabbed in all black combative wear. No respect for your planet or its traditions. His head was helmeted, sleek and black. 

So you wouldn’t even see his face. You were fine with that, you’d rather remain hating the man, seeing a face might’ve humanized him. Something you didn’t want. You didn’t want him at all.

Standing across from him, you remained stoney faced. Showing emotion to this man would mean showing weakness. Oola took her place slightly to your left and behind you. Her head was downcast, hiding the silvery tears the slowly dripped off her cheeks. 

Commander Ren grabbed your hands forcefully, jerking you closer. You grit your teeth, using all your hands to squeeze back. You could play that game too. At the end of your mind, you felt something buzzing, attempting to get in. The man was trying to read your mind. You narrowed your eyes in disgust, refusing to meet where you thought his eyes would be. Letting the numbness once more take over, you stood as a statue. His grip tightened and you could tell he was annoyed, finding nothing but the echoing pain that you allowed to take over your mind. 

You remained as such, as the ceremony began. You would show no reaction. Not to your parents, who could’ve disobeyed, who could’ve saved you. Not to the First Order freaks who seemed to be craving to see you crumble. You could ever so slightly sense their emotions. It was frightening, like a pack of animals on the hunt. From behind you, Oola’s hopelessness washed over you, like cool ocean waves.

Your eyes slid back to him as he jerked your hand up, sliding a heavy gold ring onto your ring finger, it nestled against the engagement ring. Two gaudy twins, locks with no key. He would have no ring of course, though it was customary, you were the object, not him. No ties to you no doubt suited him just fine. This coward man who’s master had demanded you marry. Who had sent the engagement ring an orders that you wear it, that you be his wife. 

No true proposal, not with an arranged marriage.

His hands dropped yours as soon as it was done. That was it, you were married.

Polite applause erupted as the both of you stood, pawns of Snoke. 

The guests filed out, to the dinner area. This part was more for politics then celebration of your union. Commander Ren swept away with them, his cape flapping him about him like great wings. In his absence, a tall ginger haired man stepped up, his lips curled downwards in disgust.

“Lady Y/N. I am Armitage Hux. General Armitage Hux.” 

He stuck a hand out and you shook it, trying not to let disgust show on your face. The man seemed to know, however, and he made no attempt to hide his obvious displeasure. Lovely, it looked like your future associates would be unpleasant and just as cold as your husband.  
You repressed a shiver at that thought. Gods above, he was your husband now. It disgusted you. 

“If you would follow me. I am to escort you to the banquet.” 

You nodded. This must be Commander Ren’s right hand man. Funny, he seemed nowhere as powerful as the robotic commander. Yet his broad shoulders and crisp clothing did idea carry an air of command and authority. 

You followed silently, Oola and the guards trailing a few feet behind. The handmaiden looked ill, her colourful cheeks still wet with tears. You hoped that wherever you had to live, that the other servants would treat her well. She had been your life long companion and you wished no harm or sadness to befall her. You weren’t going to be able to protect her against these First Order clowns. You grit your teeth, you wouldn’t be able to protect yourself either. Here on your own world, you were respected and revered. But out in the cold reaches of space? On the icy Starkiller Base? You’d be nothing. Merely a robotic commander’s wife. They would fear being around you, interacting with you, because of him. You’d be alone, Oola your only companion.  
You glanced at the tall General. You supposed he’d be your companion at times, but merely to watch you and report to Ren.

“Here.” Armitage Hux stopped at a smaller door and you frowned. This was not the banquet hall entrance. It was a small sitting room and you weren’t sure what to do at first. But you couldn’t show him that. Pushing past the man you entered, gazing about warily. 

Nothing too out of the ordinary. Just two black boxes stood out, the only part of the room that was not part of its natural makeup. You crossed to them, looking back at the General, allowing some curiosity to show. He cleared his throat, gesturing for you to open them.

“They’re wedding presents, from Commander Ren.” 

You nodded, frowning. You did not want them. But, you also didn’t want this little ginger rat to scurry back to his master and tattle if you chose to walk away. Opening the smaller of the boxes, you felt your lips twist in disgust. It was a great, heavy, black cloak, a mirror image of Ren’s. It disgusted you. Oola scurried over, shaking fingers taking it from you, quickly folding it and draping it over her arm.

“He wants you to wear it to the banquet.” Hux quipped, voice distant and disinterested.

Oola looked at you, questioning look on her face. After a quick nod from you, she fastened it about your throat. It was heavy and its collar pressed the jewels of your necklace hard against your throat. The only good thing it did, was hide the gaudy jewelry. Other then that, it clashed horribly with your wedding attire.

“Worry not, aboard the StarKiller base, we have plenty of proper attire for you.” 

You snorted, turning towards the ridiculously large box sitting on the floor. Proper attire. He meant of course the drap, ugly black garb of the First Order. You detested the thought of having to leave your cultures bright and colourful clothing. You detested the thought of nearly everything dealing with what your new life would be.

Opening the box, you paused as the sides fell away. You were confused. A droid sat in the box, a newer looking BB unit. It’s black surface was shiny and official, much like the boots the General. You frowned at it, no doubt this was another means of watching you, of making sure you did not do anything the Commander disapprove of.

“Take me to the banquet.” You turned, hating how your new cape swirled about you. Just like Ren. It was disgusting. Your anger was building and you thought it best to get this charade over with. Armitage switched on the droid before walking to the door.

“Commander Ren insist that the droid be by your side.” 

You ignored this, storming out of the room in a swirl of black and grey fabric. No privacy, no friends, no home. Your new life was looking to be horrendous. 

As your small group finally made it to the banquet, Armitage turned to Oola, lazily flicking his hand at her.

“You’re not allowed. Return to your quarters at once.” 

The Twi’lek flinched at his disgusted tone. You frowned, stepping in front of her defensively.

“Do not speak to my handmaiden in such a manner.” Your voice hissed out, low and angry. The General jerked his head slightly, clearly surprised. His eyebrows came together as his expression turned more sour.

“I am your commander's wife and therefore your superior. She is my servant and therefore not yours to command. Do NOT, test me.” 

And with that, you bustled into the large room. It grew silent as you entered, but that did not bother you. You bustled across it, heading towards the empty chair that sat next to the Commander. Disappointment burbled in your chest, he had removed his helmet. You ignored this, sitting next to him in a great flurry of skirts and cloak. You watched as Armitage distatsfully led Oola to the table that no doubt contained First Order servants. You noted, that of all of Oseon’s politicians, only three had been allowed into the banquet. Your parents and a distant cousin of yours. No surprise. As your parents controlled everything, that’s all that was needed. 

Your gaze slid downwards as something cold and hard bummed your leg. It was the BB unit. It looked up at you, shiny black surface acting as a mirror, showing your distorted face. It whistled quietly at you. You didn’t understand, no one in your family had ever had anything other than protocol droids. And with that, came no need to understand other mechanicals, as the protocol droids did all the talking and translating. You ignored it, turning to look at your plate and the strange food that sat upon it. You didn’t feel like eating. Your stomach still churned and you hated the thought of even attempting to eat anything, even your favourite food. 

You frowned again, something was tugging on your skirts. You looked down again, the unit had extended a small arm, tugging at your skirt. What did it want? It was like an insistent child. You did not want to deal with it at the moment. 

Beside you, Commander Ren turned his face to you. You glowered at him, trying not to be swayed. The man was beautiful. His features striking and had it been anyone else, you would’ve fallen in love upon first look.

“Do you like your BB-9?” Commander Ren’s voice was husky and deep. You frowned, this question was too caring. You liked it better when he had been a mask, not caring. He frowned after you gave no response and turned away, once more talking to whatever official sat to his left.  
He disgusts you. 

 

Throughout the banquet, the BB unit persisted, trying to gain your attention and when it did chattering away while you looked on, bemused and irritated. Your attention was elsewhere, concern for Oola burbling in your stomach. She sat, shoulders hunched as the servants around the table laughed and jeered at her. One even had the gall to tug at her lekku, laughing as she winced.

Anger churned in your stomach, heating your blood and making you shake slightly. Beside you, Ren turned once more, His bright amber eyes peering at you with a look you couldn’t place. He turned away, waving his hand as the conversation continued. 

A gasp arouse as the servant who had been tormenting Oola the most began to choke. The sweet Twi’lek helped the bastard. She was kind, too kind at times. You wondered if Ren had made him choke, or if it was merely a fluke. A coincidence. You didn’t care, you wanted nothing to do with him.

And apparently he felt the same way. Around you flew jokes about your people, your planet and about you. The commander joined in, his angelic lips dripping cruel words around his mouthfuls of food. He even laughed as one politician suggested your planet was all of mutes as no one here seemed to know what to say. You watched as your mother’s once proud head lowered, her lips quivering.

Enough was enough.

You stood, not bothering to excuse yourself and walked out of the banquet hall, gesturing for Oola to follow. She did, a look of relief on her face. The BB unit followed behind, chirping excitedly. You paid it no mind. You were done. You couldn’t do this. Screw the consequences. 

You entered your room, rushing about, throwing various things in different bags. Clothes, jewelry, a few silver baubles. You had minutes at most. If you were lucky.

Handing one bag to Oola, you took the other and hurried out the servants door. The main hall would have First Order scum no doubt. 

“My lady. What’re we doing?” 

“Stay quiet and follow me.” You had no time to explain, not until you were safe. 

She followed you down the servants hallway till you made it to her quarters. 

“Grab what you absolutely need.” 

She complied quickly and within moments, you were rushing down the hall again, this time towards the bay. The ships that lead to freedom. Oola seemed to know what you were planning, her face pale.

In the hangar, you looked about cautiously. There were plenty of First order Soldiers, but also traders. Your systems trader services never stopped. And for once, you were grateful.

“See that man over there.” You pointed to a pilot loading his sandy ship with different crates. 

“Ask him for flight to Tatooine.” You pointed to the bag you had given her. “There are jewels enough to sell.” 

Oola looked panicked, her eyes wide with fright. “B-But what about you?”

You smiled at her. “I’m going there too, but first I have to make a trail they can’t follow. And if they catch me, I don’t want you to be killed for treason.” You paused, staring out into the hanger, “They can’t kill me. Not until I’ve given them an heir.” 

She nodded, lower lip trembling. Giving you a quick hug and a blessing him her language, she hurried across the hangar. Talking to the man, then discreetly handing him a necklace of starlight jewels. He nodded, guiding her on to the ship, then continuing to load it as if nothing had happened. You felt tears make their way down your cheeks. You prayed you’d see her again. That you hadn’t sent her to her death. 

A tiny chirp startled you and you felt tugging once more on your dress. You stumbled back, glaring down at the droid. It whirred and pointed with it’s little arm. You blinked, surprised. It had saved you from being spotted. Perhaps it was an friend. Perhaps Ren had been cruel to it too and it was like you, wanting to escape.

“Can you pilot a ship?” You whispered, crouching in front of it. It nodded its half sphere head, chirping shortly. You took that as a yes.

Looking back in the hangar, you felt sadness fill your heart. The ship with Oola had left. Another tear found its way down your cheek. You prayed your dear friend would be alright. That the man wasn’t evil or anything. You wiped it away and winced as something cut your cheek. Glancing down you frowned, the infernal engagement ring. You nearly tossed it, but then you wondered how much it would go for if you sold it to the Hutt family. Probably a good price, enough that Oola and you could then gain your own ship, find a place to live, outside of the First Orders grasp. 

Spotting a small ship, you took a deep breath. “That one BB.”

It looked to where you were point and whistled. You hoped that was a confirmation that it could pilot it. The two of you snuck towards it, hiding in shadow and behind various items. As you made it onto the tiny ship, you heard a siren go off. 

Funny, it had taken a lot longer than you thought it would for them to recognize you had not escaped to the bathroom, but rather actually escaped. 

Closing the door, you dumped your bags in the tiny eating area and hurried to the captains chair. BB followed behind, opening a tiny panel in the bottom of the control console and sticking its little arm in. 

“Go anywhere in the outer rim. We just need somewhere to ditch this, then find a ride to Tatooine.”

The droid chirped in agreeance and started the ship up. Your heart pounding, you glanced out the window and felt it stop. The Commander was storming into the hangar. Not towards you, but towards his own ship.

“Wait” you hissed, sinking down. “Leave after him, when his other ship follow.”

The droid followed your orders, sending the ship out the minute the Tie-Fighters and other ships followed their commander’s shuttle. 

You watched sadly as first the palace, then planet shrank away. The little ship veered away from the commander’s shuttle and you watched as it slowly shrunk into nothingness. Engulfed by the stars. 

You were afraid and tired. But you wouldn’t let them win. You wouldn’t let Snoke win. If you were the deciding factor for this age long fight of light and dark, then you were going to do your best to shine brighter than a sun.


	2. To Tatooine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The pilot you bumped into, knew you. Unfortunately.

You awoke with a jolt. Your body felt cramped and tight. You sat, rubbing at your face, wincing as your cheek stung. Of course, the cut. Glaring down at your engagement ring, you turned to look around for the BB unit. It sat beside you, watching silently. It whistled low and quiet, sounding a bit sad.

“Did we land?” You voice rasped out, mouth dry from sleep.

The little droid nodded, whistling long and low. You stood, grabbing your bag, you opened it. Pulling the silver ornaments out of your hair, you dumped them in with the other jewelry. You struggled to take the necklace off, it seemed to strain to remain on. You managed it however, throwing the hateful thing in. After that was done, you fished out the simple pants, top and boots you had packed. You stripped and quickly donned them, stuffing your wedding attire in your bag. You paused, then pulled the cloak back on, you wanted to be as unmemorable as possible. Good thing it was blac, it matched the rest of your attire.

Looking at the rings on your finger, you sighed. Pulling them both off, you tossed the engagement ring in. You slipped the wedding ring back on however. It was better if you didn’t have to deal with unwanted male attention. A wedding ring would take care of that.

You despised the thought however. Commander Ren protecting you, even out here. Wherever, here was. 

Following the droid out of the ship, you glanced about.

Wherever you were was certainly in outer rim territory. The hangar you were in was definitely run down, your ship was the nicest and it had drawn some gawkers. Not good, definitely not good. 

A sallow, thin looking Twi’lek approached you, gesturing at the ship and rattling away in his common tongue. You frowned, you had learned some from Oola, but not enough to properly communicate with him. You knew he wanted you ship, that he was interested in buying it. You bit your lower lip and sighed. You regretted doing this to the man, but you needed to escape. Telling him he could have it, you quickly walked away. Not wanting further attention.

“BB, take me somewhere pilots might hang around.” You turned a corner. Not knowing where you were going, but wanting to get as far from the ship as possible. The little droid whistled, quickly rolling ahead of you. You jogged after it, cape swishing behind you. This planet wasn’t a sand trap like Tatooine, it had packed earthen paths and scatterings of trees and grass. A breeze sent a slight chill through you and you were grateful for the dark cape. This little walk was exhilarating, you hadn’t felt this free in ages. 

The droid made a zig-zag path, only slowing now and then to let you catch up. And after 20 minutes of running, the droid slowed. You did as well, breathing heavily. You weren’t used to the exercise, royalty was lazy you supposed. BB whistled excitedly, extending his little arm and pointing at a building.

In front of you was a little tavern. It looked to be busy. And many of the men and women who came and went looked like mechanics and pilots. You entered cautiously, an earring in hand. Slapping it onto the counter, you gestured to a foreign drink. The bartender nodded, his many eyes blinking at different times. You took the drink and sat in a shady corner. Now to wait and watch. You had to be careful, one wrong move and you could be right back in the First Orders hands. 

You sat for an hour. Slowly drink the disgusting drink you had picked out. You weren’t sure who to trust. Anyone could’ve been an enemy. But then you saw him. A shorter man with soft, fluffy brown hair and wide smile. Rather, you hadn’t noticed him at first, you’d noticed his droid, another BB unit. It would be going out on a limb, but you needed a pilot. 

Stealing another ship would just make you trackable and kill whoever was the owner of it. 

You approached him slowly, BB behind you. The droid hadn’t spoken up, so you took it as a good sign. 

The man glanced up as you stood at his table, his smile bright, but unsure. You froze, praying he didn’t recognize you. Your family was well known, and your recent escape and marriage would no doubt be galactic news. He didn’t seem to recognize you however, facial expression remaining. 

“Hello!” You chirped, “I noticed your BB unit and was wondering if you were a pilot?” 

His smile grew wider, genuine now. “I am! Poe Dameron!” 

Poe stuck out his hand and you shook it warmly. You knew the name, but couldn’t place it. Perhaps his family had done business with yours before. You weren’t sure and didn’t want to make things unnecessarily complicated. 

You faked a laugh and twirled your hair around one finger, an attempt to make yourself look slightly stupid. You wanted his defensive down, you didn’t want to seem as a threat. Beside you the two BB units chattered away, their whistles and chirps making it sound as if a flock of birds was in the corner with you. 

“So, I sorta got left behind when my family left and I need a pilot to get back to Tatooine.”  
You hoped your excuse would fool him. You had no idea where you were and how far Tatooine was.

“I can pay!” You chirped, attempting an empty, ‘I’m and idiot pity me’ smile. It seemed to work as the man leaned back, nodding. You relaxed, relife flooding your veins. You hadn’t realized how stressed and ready to break down you had been. Poe smiled at you, stretching and clearing his throat.

“Let me go to the bathroom and we can get going.” He paused, soft brown eyes searching yours. “If that’s alright.” 

You nodded, eager to get going. Poe got up and sauntered to what you assumed was the bathroom. You weren’t sure, the language of this place was foreign. Your eyes slid about, trying to see if anyone had taken an interest in your corner. No one had, you remained pretty much unseen. That was good. 

Beside you, the two droids continued to chatter, your black BB looking at you from time to time, tapping your leg with its tiny arm. You knew it was trying to include you in their conversation, but you had no idea what was being said. The other BB was white and orange, you found it quite pretty. You were happy that you had found a pilot that also had a BB unit. It made you feel safer for some reason. 

Poe returned shortly, grabbing his jacket and motioning to you and the droids. You stood quickly, nearly tripping over the droids as you hurried after him. As you followed him through the twisting streets, you felt slightly uneasy. Something was about to happen and you weren’t sure what it was. You were force sensitive, but more often than not, it just lead to confusing premontions that were more feeling than anything that made sense. 

The hangar you entered was different from the one BB had landed in. It was cleaner and the ships in it were all well cared for. There was an unsettling uniform to it as though the rag-tag group of ships all worked together. 

You shoved those feelings down and followed the man to a small cargo ship. You glanced at it briefly, it looked old and noticeable, yet something about it looked dangerous. The dusty grey sides looked strangely familiar. Then again, most cargo ships did, they were common in your world, a center hub for trade. 

Walking into the ship, you stumbled as BB bummed into your legs, whistling away crazily. You frowned down at it, wishing you could understand. It ignored you for once, whirring after its new orange and white friend.

Poe laughed as he closed the side door, “I’m glad BB-8 has made friend.” 

You felt your heart drop as he turned to you, face no longer cheerful. 

“You’re Y/N. Aren’t you?”

Icy fear gripped your heart. He knew. Had BB told him? Or was your stupid facade not enough. Your mind raced, escape wasn’t an option now. Perhaps fighting him? You cursed, realizing you had forgot to grab one thing. A fucking weapon. Hand to hand? He wasn’t much taller then you, but he had muscle and a lot of it under that dust jacket.

You blinked. You knew the jacket. Poe Dameron. Your mind whirred, trying to put the two together, And with an almost audible click, it did. 

Poe Dameron. Best fucking pilot in the resistance. You had walked right into the third person in all of existence that you didn’t want to see. 

“You are going to make a good bargaining chip.” He turned, apologetic smile on his face. You felt your face went white. Oh gods above. You were going to sent right back from where you’d escaped. And this time, Oola wouldn’t be there. You’d be completely alone. They’d probably take BB away from you and although you couldn’t understand the little droid, you had come to enjoy its company. 

You sat dejectedly as Poe fired up the ship and set course. You had no idea where you were going. Hopelessness enveloped your heart and you felt like crying. 

Poe came into the back again, sitting across from you. He looked ashamed, kindly face drawn in.

“I’m sorry. If it were up to me. I wouldn’t do so. But the general insists.” He looked regretful, twisting his hand slightly in his lap.

“I’ll do what I can to make sure you don’t have to go back to that man.” Poe shuddered, “That monster.”

You nodded numbly. How had you been so foolish. You’d been caught so fast. Yes by a different party, but still. Caught nonetheless. 

BB rolled next to you, reaching out and grabbing your boot lace with a little arm. You lay a hand on its little head, staring numbly at the floor. Poe sighed, getting up and heading back into the cockpit. 

You would find out your fate in a few short hours. You prayed Oola was safe. At least she had gotten away. 

BB whistled sadly, seeming to sense your thoughts. You rubbed its head and sighed.

\---------------------

“Commander Ren.” The tall figure turned, emotionless mask facing the cowering officer that stood before him, datapad held out in a trembling hand. Sweat dripped down the officers nose and his eyes held fear.

“W-we have an update.” the man gulped as the data pad was swiped out of his hands.

The commander stared at it silently, then lowered it. His head turning away from the officer. Just as the other man was about to sigh in relief, a hot light saber swung about, decapitating him. The sith in training howled, swinging the deadly weapon about, destroying the room he was in and the now motionless body of the officer. 

He would find his wife and he would continue the legacy of the sith. The resistance would crumble beneath his heel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slightly shorter, but I hope you guys enjoy!


	3. A Plan and a Pilot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You were drawn to Poe and it scared you.

You now sat in a rather nice room. Poe had taken you back to the resistance and they had quickly taken you into custody while deciding on your fate.   
The room was nice. The walls were a pleasant cream colour, various paintings hung here and there. It was deceiving, however. Because there were no windows and the door you had come through was sealed, looking like just another section of wall. 

So no chance to escape. And despite the walls being decorated. Nothing else was, leaving you without weapons. Alone to rot.

BB had been torn from you, literally. The little droid had shrieked hysterically when the Resistance separated you, little metal arm ripping a hole in your pants as the two of you were pulled in different directions. You hated them for that. In the time you had escaped and been taken to the Resistance, the little droid had become something akin to a friend. You felt empty inside, despite it having been a gift from Commander Ren, you missed it.

You weren’t sure how long you’d been in here. Meals were brought in by an emotionless woman, but the glimpses you caught outside your room gave no indication of time. It was hell.

Your head snapped up as the door opened again. You stood quickly, not the meal woman. A different one, she was older, the air about her was familiar. She was royalty, you could spot it a mile away. As a princess yourself, you were familiar with her stance, the way she held her head and gazed at you.

“Lady Y/N.” She nodded slightly, her elegantly styled hair gleaming slightly in the bright light of your room. You nodded back, sweeping your hand towards the lone chair that sat in the room. Her eyes twinkled, was she testing you?

“I’m General Leia Organa.” She sat gingerly, eyes never leaving yours. You dipped your head in answer. She was a legendary woman and you were wary. Why had the Resistance sent her. Was this to be an interrogation? 

Unsure of how to proceed, you merely stared, waiting for her to continue. The woman stared back, her deeply lined eyes unwavering.

“Poe told me something strange.” She began, eyes twinkling as you tried and failed to hide that your interest was piqued. You wiped your face clean of emotion, this was a possible interrogation after all. 

“That droid of yours, the BB-8, repainted one?” You nodded slowly, eyes narrowing. Why was she starting with BB? Did the droid contain a bargaining chip? General Organa smile continued without wavering. She was good, you were beginning to feel uneasy. 

“Poe says it’s been reprogrammed strangely.” She paused again and you wished she would get to the point. This stop and go tactic was irritating and you’d much rather be screamed at than deal with this motherly talking to. 

“It seems to view you as a mother. It’s programming is unlike anything we’re used to.” 

You blinked. Not what you were expecting by a long shot. Why would someone take the time to program a droid like that? A frown creased your lips, another part of Snoke’s plan. Gain trust and love from you via a little droid? How twisted.

“Am I to be a bargaining chip?” You stood tall, arms tight across your chest. The general frowned, concern clear in her eyes. Ignoring it, you remained as a statue, stance unwavering. 

“In a way. Yes.” She stood, hands gentling clasping yours. Her eyes shone with worry and hope. It was a strange mixture. 

“In others, you’re a distraction, one we need.”

You scowled, unamused. You knew of the Resistance's fight, their strife. Part of you agreed with their deeds. A free galaxy was a silly, hopeless dream, but to have so many supporting them, made it seem real. But in no way did those feelings make this any better. You didn’t appreciate being used in such a manner.

“We found where the map to Luke Skywalker is. We need to get it. To restore peace.” Her voice was strong, but beneath it you heard pleading.

You allowed a short sigh to leave your lips. Once more just a pawn. It upset you.

The General stood and exited your cell. You sat dejectedly on your soft cot. Today had started off abysmally. 

No sooner had the door sealed, then it opened again. You ignored it, lying back on your cot. If she had forgotten to say something, that was on her. Eyes closed, you buried your face deeper into the pillow. The bed sagged slightly as someone sat, you frowned, they were heavier than the General.

A warm hand against your waist startled you. Eyes snapping open, you propped yourself up slightly, glaring at the intruder. Your gaze faltered, softening as you met the warm gaze of   
Poe Dameron.

“Your BB misses you.” His hand slipped off your waist, gesturing towards the door. Sitting there, like a big, shiny black bug, BB. You shot out of bed, sliding to your knees and enveloping the little droid in a warm hug. It beeped happily, chattering away a million miles a minute. You laughed, for the first time not minding.

“It’s telling you everything it’s seen and done while you two were apart.” Poe stood, walking over and crouching next to you. You glanced up at him, mind racing. The pilot looked sad, guilty even. Why had he brought BB back?

Poe stood, running a hand through his hair. “In 6 hours we hand you back to the First Order.” 

You stood as well, hand reaching out and grasping his arm. You didn’t know why, but you were drawn to him. Something about the pilot. Was it the force? Trying to tell you something?

“And in 4 hours. I’m off to Jakku. To get the map.” Poe looked down at you, worry plastered across his face. You felt his fear, his hope. It radiated off him like a heat wave, the clashing emotions like a sandstorm. 

You twisted your lips. This was happening and you had no say. Which of course, came as no surprise. You hated it. But there was something you could do. The fight against Snoke wasn’t just via tie-fighters and x-wings. It was also within you and you’d make sure to win.  
“I need your help.” Your voice was steady, Poe looked questioningly at you. “I need to speak with a medical authority.”

His confusion was palpable. You stepped away, turning your face to stone. BB rolled up to you, little metal arm coming out to grasp at your boot strings. You stared at the little droid, inspecting the faint reflection that lay upon its shiny outsides. The reflection was twisted and dull, like how you felt right now, hope all but dead within you.

“You may fight Snoke with an X-wing, but I can not. So I must push back in other ways.” 

Poe nodded, following what you said, but still clearly confused. You sighed, arms tight against your chest.

“The only reason I am of value is because I can bear a child strong with the force.” You hated how your voice shook. Why did this man’s kind gaze shake you to your core? Why was he, a lowly Resistance fighter able to affect you more than the most feared man in the galaxy. 

“I want to prevent that. I want to make it impossible.” Poe’s eyes flashed with concern, the man slightly pale. You sighed, raising a hand to halt his words. The man frowned, worry still prevalent. 

“I’m not talking about a hysterectomy. I do want children someday. Just not with him.” 

You gestured losely at your abdomen, blushing slightly. “I just want to put a receiver in there. One that’ll destroy sperm.”

Poe’s face was red, but he quickly caught himself. The man was a professional hunk it seemed. Always appearing suave and cool when his concern for friends was not there. The pilot ruffled his hair, sighing slightly. 

“The general really won’t like this.” He stated, brown eyes sweeping over your form before he turned, clearly torn. Beside you BB chirped. Poe looked at it, frowning slightly. The droid beeped again, sounding angry. You watched, confused and slightly amused, wishing you could understand. 

“Ok. You’re right. I’ll do it. I’ll get you the best in our fleet.” And with that, Poe rushed out. You sank onto your bed, sighing shakily. 5 hours and 23 minutes left. You had to stand strong.

It felt like hours before Poe was back, a small mousey woman at his side. She nodded at you silently, opening her bag and pulling a few tools out. Poe stood in front of the door, clearly nervous. You opened your mouth to greet her and explain your plan, but stopped. HEr gaze was sharp and it made you wary.

“I know what you need and I am not going to speak to you. The less I hear and know, the safer we all are.” 

You blinked and nodded. She was right. If you were no more then another patient, then all the better. She couldn’t be interrogated. You and Poe were the only ones who would know. 

Following her instructions, you lay back in the cot. She placed an anesthetic apparatus on your face, it was to numb you to the incision she had to make. You were scared, but it’d be ok. Flopping your hand over the edge of the cot, you closed your eyes. BB grabbed your hand with its little metal arm, as you knew it would. A warm hand closed over the both of yours, it was Poe. You peeked at him through half lidded eyes. Not wanting to glance down and see the work the small woman was doing between your legs.

“You’re brave.” Poe’s gaze was strong, his eyes never wavering from your face. “To do this, to do this and to hope that they don’t realize it. That takes courage, more courage than I’ll ever hope to have.” 

You shook your head, hand tightening around his, “It’s not courage. It’s doing the only thing I can.” 

You sighed shakily, closing your eyes for a moment, before looking back at the pilot. His eyes reflected tiny images of your face. You looked pale, yet determined. Good. Better than looking like a half scared and cornered rat. 

“My people did the only thing they could to protect themselves. They offered me as a bartering chip. For them it was the right thing to do. For me, all I could do was try to run. And when that didn’t work. Take away the one thing they want, the one thing they need.”

Poe nodded, stepping back as the woman took the mask off. You sat, wincing slightly. There was a dull burning in your lower gut. A small incision lay there, cleany covered in healing gel. As you watched, it slowly melded together and vanished. No trace of your plan. Pushing your shirt down, you turned to Poe. 

“Thank you.” 

He merely nodded, face clouded. Looking at his wrist, he looked back at you. “I need to prepare. 30 minutes till I go.”

You nodded, disappointed. Watching as the woman left, you sighed. That meant that 2 and half hours till you were back in the clutches of Commander Ren. You stood, wincing slightly.

“May the force be with you Poe Dameron.” You paused, then leaned in and planted a swift kiss on his cheek. The man blinked in surprise, clearly taken aback. 

“Sorry.” You whispered. Why had you done this? So unlike you, yet it had felt right. The first time you had ever done anything remotely intimate with a man. You were glad it was Poe. The thought of Kylo Ren kissing you, of him touching you, made you sick.

“Don’t be.” Poe’s voice had turned into a husky whisper. It sent shivers down your spine and through your stomach. Lighting a fire in your belly, unlike any other you had felt before. You gasped slightly as Poe pulled you closer, both hands gripping your waist. His lips found yours, soft and gentle. They caressed yours in a deep and intimate kiss. It felt like the wind tickling your lips. You pushed against him, hands coming up to rest lightly upon his chest. Poe’s grip on your waist tightened, pulling your hips into his.

When you broke apart, the both of you were panting slightly. Equally red in the face. You sighed shakily, content and confused. Your mind was a whirlwind of emotion. You wished he didn’t have to go, that the two of you had more time together.

“I’ll find you Y/N. After Jakku, I’ll come find you. I promise.” Poe’s eyes were concerned, determined. You nodded, pulling away and sitting on the cot. 

“Be safe.” 

“You as well.”

And with that, he was gone. Your shoulders slumped dejectedly. BB rolled up to you, whirring and beeping excitedly. You patted his head absentmindedly. The force was clearly pulling and pointing you to Poe. But why? What was so important about the pilot? 

You lay back in bed, covering your face with your hands. His kiss still lingered on your lips. Sweet and soft. Like his eyes. BB chirped again and you shushed it half-heartedly. Rolling onto your stomach, you closed your eyes tightly and fell into soft dreams, full of a pilot with wavy brown hair and kisses like warm rain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to You now sat in a rather nice room. Poe had taken you back to the resistance and they had quickly taken you into custody while deciding on your fate.   
> The room was nice. The walls were a pleasant cream colour, various paintings hung here and there. It was deceiving, however. Because there were no windows and the door you had come through was sealed, looking like just another section of wall.


	4. Dying Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A shorter chapter, but worry not! More to come this week! A lot more!

Leia's hand was a reassurance against your back. She stood next to you, an unreadable expression on her face as the First Order boarded the vessel you were on. The command shuttle landed in the bay. Behind it, the stars were blotted out by the large star destroyer that lurked about. No doubt to make sure that the rebellious didn’t attempt to attack their oh so wonderful Kylo Ren. BB chirped away at your side, asking questions no doubt. You shushed it with a wave of your hand. Restrained in shackles it was slightly difficult. But they were necessary for the lie you were now apart of. 

You stiffened as Kylo Ren and General Hux exited the ship, here it was. Your moment of truth, could you fool the Sith Apprentice? Focusing, you let out a small breath, an image in your mind, image of hiding the minds of the people around you. You projected out blank uninterest, confusion, fear. Easy enough emotions. No clear thoughts. 

Kylo Ren couldn’t know that you had run. Rather, the Resistance had stated they’d kidnapped you. That Oola had died protecting you. The lie made your heart weak. You still didn’t know what had happened to her. But you trusted Leia. As long as this plan worked, they’d go and find Oola. Bring her to safety. 

You let out a gasp as something invisible, the force no doubt, pushed you forward. You stumble, but remained determined, willing your abilities to trick the sith. Leia reached out, pulling you back. You were grateful, her hand a comfort. 

“Our agreement Ben.”

Ben? Who was Ben? You frowned, glancing between the two men and Leia. The General ignored your gaze, staring at Ren. The man said nothing, his mask pointed towards you. Once more, you felt the buzzing in the edges of your mind, he was attempting to read. You pushed it back, curious. Was he Ben? Could you perhaps peek into his mind? But would that give him access.

Hux was saying something, but you ignored it. You ignored Leia’s response. Your eyes never wavering from Ren’s emotionless mask. 

‘Can you hear me wife?’ His voice, faint, but there, You frowned. 

‘Yes’ Your eye narrowed as you continued to hide Leia and her fellow Resistance members mind. You wondered briefly if he could tell.

‘Did they harm you?’ 

The question surprised you. Why did he care? Then again, of course he’d care. You were his baby farm. The one to produce more sith lords. It disgusted you.

‘I’m alright.’ You responded.

The Commander finally moved, stepping forward and grabbing you about the waist. You let out a gasp. His grip was tight, possessive. Poe’s grip had been softer and you much prefered that to what was happening now. 

“You’ll get your time, General.” The modulated voice spat out, he shoved you behind him, motioning to Hux. 

“Kidnap my wife again, however, and the repercussions will be immense.” 

And with that, you were being ushered into the command shuttle. With a desperate look, you glanced back at Leia. Her face was stricken with some emotion you couldn’t read. You felt it though. Felt the pain of it. It resonated within your chest. BB whistled sadly. 

Once inside the ship, you were quickly ushered into the medbay. They poked and prodded you, while Ren looked on. Unreadable mask as still as ever. You ignored him, focusing on ensuring your little plan wasn’t found out. BB helped, rolling about, knocking people over, beeping loudly and once, pinching a doctor who got too close to where you incision had been. You were grateful, the little droid was truly loyal. 

After passing whatever tests they were intent on doing, Ren whisked you away again. You stumbled after his tall form, trying not to show weakness. The hallways of this ship were grey and black. Dull and in your eyes, disgusting. BB seemed to agree, little arm reaching out to whack the walls every now and then. It truly was like a child. You liked that, you hoped it could get away with annoying Kylo Ren. You’d enjoy it tormenting him. 

“Until we get back to Star Killer base, my rooms are yours as well.” You flinched, not expecting Ren’s words. They weren’t commanding, though through a voice modulator, they were soft, unexpectedly so. 

Ren smacked his hand against a small box next to a large metal door. It beeped and the doors slid open quietly. You followed him cautiously, glancing about to take in his quarters. BB bumped into, quietly chirping. It was scared of something. You felt it too, your gaze drawn to a sealed black door in the very corner of what you assumed was a sitting room. It emanated something sinister. Without realizing it, you found yourself in front of the door, a hand pressed to its icy surface. 

“You can sense him too?” Kylo’s voice was no longer modulated, the helmet lay on a side table. You flinched slightly, realising he stood directly behind you. Looking up, you noted his deep brown eyes and petulant look. Nodding slightly, you turned, scanning the room once more. He reached out, pulling you to him. Stiffening, you waited with baited breath, what was he going to do?

The large man’s hands gently pressed you into a hug as he buried his face in your hair. Affection? This was strange, foreign, unexpected and not wanted. You turned your head slightly as he lifted his face to yours. Glaring out of the corner of your eye.

“Oh my darling.” He whispered, one hand on your waist, his other softly turning your face to his. Your stomach twisted, fear coiling about.

“I was so worried. Those scum, stealing my wife, killing her servant.” 

You flinched at those words. You knew it wasn’t true, but you still feared Oola to be dead. Or worse. Kylo’s eyes softened, no doubt misinterpreted it as a reaction of woe from you.

“We have them in our clutches now. Worry not.” His voice was triumphant. You felt yourself paling, hating how his arms tightened about you. He laughed, the sound grating in your head. 

“They found the last piece to Skywalker. Well be killing that pilot in a few short hours.” 

Your knees gave and you crumpled. Poe had been found out? The plan hadn’t worked. It had all been in vain. Kylo crouched next to you, eyes sweeping over your form.

“You’ve no doubt been interrogated for hours. Rest love. The First Order is strong. I will make sure they pay.” 

And with that, he swept out of the room, picking up his helmet as he went. You remained crumbled on the floor, tears leaking out of your eyes. BB rolled up to you, beeping sadly. You hugged it tightly, allowing full body sobs to escape you. 

Hope was dying fast.


	5. Rebellion Rising

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Kylo have a rather strange heart to heart.

They had Poe. You could feel his presence on the ship and it tore you apart. You could do nothing. You knew nothing. No power, no say. You sat as a pawn would, waiting for to be pushed to the next move.

You picked at the delicate stitching of your gown. It was black, like everything on this ship, yet the threading was red, matching the ring that sat heavy upon your finger. You felt like a doll all dressed up and sitting on a shelf. Kylo’s porcelain doll with the key to his boss’s dreams.

You glanced at the corner, BB sat charging, lights on its face blinking every now and then. At least one of you was able to sleep. You should be sleeping, but you couldn’t bring yourself to lie in that bed. The past 2 nights, since Ren hadn’t been back, you’d slept on the floor, covered in a small blanket you had dug out from a closet. 

“Are you hungry?” 

You looked up, eyes wide. You had forgotten Ren would be back tonight. In your idleness your mind lay unguarded. Kylo looked at you, slowly stripping off his gloves. You swallowed, shaking your head slowly. He stepped forward, placing a bare hand on your shoulder.

“Are you ill?” 

His voice held no malice, no hint of him knowing what you had thought. You flinched as his hand came up, gently resting on your forehead. Mind reading? But no, you felt no buzzing in your mind. Kylo frowned and you took a deep breath, sure he knew, sure he was about to strike you dead.

“You might have a slight fever.” 

He knelt before you, resting his head upon your lap. You gasped, hands raising slightly to push him off. But no, no. You couldn’t, he would know if you did. He looked up, eyes searching your face. You found yourself reaching for his face, thumb sliding gently across his cheek and over the bridge of his nose. Kylo’s skin was soft, far softer then you had imagine it would be. He closed his eyes, long lashes tickling your fingers. You slide your hands into his hair and felt him shiver slightly. You paused, afraid. 

“Don’t stop.” Ren looked at you through half closed eyes. “You’ve been so cold these past few days.” 

You blinked and pulled your hands back, turning your face away. You felt the weight in your lap lift as he stood. Kylo grabbed you about the waist, lifting you up and out of the chair. You shrieked, hands grasping about his shoulders to keep yourself steady. Your husband looked at you with eyes filled with pain. As much as you didn’t like it, it did tug at your heart. You felt for him. And for a moment, you understood him. Understood that he was a pawn just like you, that he had no more control then you did. 

“Why do you hate me.” It wasn’t really a question, it was a statement, low and sad. You bit your lip as he rested his head against your shoulder, his arms tightening about you. You found yourself cradling his head lightly, resting your forehead against the dark waves of his hair. 

“My planet was proud once.” You began, lightly twisting a lock of his hair in your fingers. “It was proud, the people flourished and all was happy and light.”

He shifted and you knew he was trying to look at you. Pulling back slightly, you made eye contact, wary and unsure. He said nothing however and you took it as approval to continue. 

“Then The First Order came, and my people became pawns, nothing more then servants and cannon fodder. With them arrived a box that sealed my fate as well.” 

You meant the box your engagement ring came in of course, the damned thing. Kylo blinked, setting you down gently and grasping your left hand. You watched as he looked at the ring, thumb gently brushing over the bloody red surface. Kylo glanced at you, his face half hidden by his hair.

“It’s a piece of my lightsaber.” 

You blinked, that was unexpected and it caused a reaction within you that you didn’t quite understand. Ren’s hand completely engulfed yours, he pulled you close, other hand resting on your waist. It was like a stilled dance. Your hand in his, the other resting against his chest. 

“You explained why your people hate me. Not why you hate me.” He stated, his eyes unwavering. You looked away, then back at him, biting your lip. Taking a step to the right, you began a slow waltz, seeing if he would follow. Kylo did, moving much more fluidly than you would’ve expected from a man touted as a monster and murderer. His brow furrowed, clearly you were confusing him, and you’d rather keep it that way. Resting your head on his chest, you sighed.

“I wasn’t even properly proposed to. I was told I would marry you. Not because you loved me or respected me, but because Snoke for saw us creating strong offspring. Sith offspring.”

You felt him tense, his grip tightening slightly. 

“The Supreme Leader is wise.” He began, stopping as you stepped back. You shook your head, laughing slightly.

“But what do you want Ren? Why me? Surely there are others, others more willing and doting than I. Why me?” You hated how your voice cracked slightly, hated how you were now fighting tears. The Sith Apprentice stepped forward, matching you step for step as you stumbled backwards, until suddenly, you were falling back. 

It was the bed. You felt fear lurch in your stomach. Ren did nothing however, merely stared, his expression unreadable. You lay there, shaking slightly, waiting.

“I do respect you. Out of all the places we’ve taken over all the planets, systems, etcetera. Out of ALL of them…..” He paused, kneeling in front of you. You sat up slowly, hoping he’d continue without prodding. Kylo looked at you, his face like a child’s, sad and unsure. 

“Out of all of them. You were the only one who looked at me as though we were equals. You looked to me as if no matter what, you could command any and all to turn on me, with just a word.”

He let out a shuddering sigh, hands grasping yours gently. “You scared me and enthralled me.” You opened your mouth, but nothing came out. He shushed you gently.

 

"You still do." Kylo whispered the last part, eyes locking on yours. 

You didn’t know how to respond. You watched instead, waiting to see what he’d do. Kylo stood, walking into the refresher. He closed the door without a look in your direction and you sighed, shoulders hunching in defeat. 

Tonight was not the night to fight. 

You slowly stood, kicking your heels into the corner and tearing the gown from your body. Tossing it aside, you pulled on sleeping wear. It was a simple dress, that clung to your curves. You didn’t like it. But you couldn’t sleep on the floor tonight. You’d have to lie with him, in that bed. 

You settled beneath the surprisingly comfortable blankets. The bed was warm and silky, and if it was possible, even more comfortable than your bed back a home. The refresher door opened and you tensed, closing your eyes tight. Shuffling and a draw shutting. The bed sank behind you. 

This was it. 

You barely breathed as you felt his hand slid over your waist, tugging you to him. His chest was slightly damp and it made your sleepwear cling to him. His face pressed into the back of your neck, his wet locks tangling across your dry hair. You fell asleep surprisingly fast. His warmth and deep, slow breathing lulling you into sleep. Just before you were beyond the point of no return, you heard him whisper.

“You’ll learn to love me. I promise.”

No response from you, sleep had already grasped you. 

 

When you awoke, you were alone. At first you weren’t sure what had woken you, but soon it became apparent. BB was beeping frantically at you. The beeps were more like screaming if you were to be perfectly honest. You stood shakily, glancing about in confusion. You didn’t understand the droid and its incessant shrieking was causing panic and a headache. 

“BB, shhh buddy, please.” You groaned, your head aching. Had Kylo used the force to put you to sleep?! You weren’t sure. Maybe you were sick. 

“BB PLEASE.” You yelped, tripping as the little droid bumped you. The droid quieted, tiny sad beeps emanating every now and then. 

“Where’s Ren, why’re you screaming?” 

BB responded and you growled, frustrated. This was no good. Grabbing the nearest clothing, you pulled it on and stormed out of the quarters. BB rolled after you, its beeps continuing.

“Take me to Ren or whatever it is that’s upset you!” You barked, heels clicking against the dark hallway floor. BB went full steam ahead, so fast even, that you had to run. Twisting and turning and finally you were at an elevator. You entered, glaring at the stormtroopers who followed you. They seemed to be intent on tailing you. No matter. You didn’t care. BB jabbed a button and you stood, arms clasped behind your back as the elevator shot upwards. You scowled down at the shirt you wore. While you had grabbed your own pants, boots and jacket, the shirt you had grabbed was Kylo’s. It looked more like a tunic on you, falling halfway down your thighs. 

Your eyes snapped forwards as the elevator stopped, doors sliding open. You stepped out, following BB. The troopers trailed you at a distance, stopping every now and then as you turned back to glare at them. 

“What is she doing on my bridge?!” A familiar voice spat. You locked eyes with General Hux, matching his sneer with one of your own.

“Careful ginger rat. I doubt my husband would be pleased to have you speak to me in such a manner.” Your words, lashed with venom, made him flinch. For just a second, his facade crumbled and you saw beneath the tired scared man who was barely keeping it together. 

“What is going on.” You asked, coming to stand beside him. Hux growled something, but froze as you narrowed your eyes. He sighed, running a hand through his hair. 

“Our prisoner is missing.” The ginger snapped, his icy eyes staring out at the vast expanse of space. You found your own gaze drawn to the planet that lay like a bright beacon beneath you. It was Jakku. You just knew it, you’d never seen the space hunk, but you knew it was so. You frowned, there was something there, on the surface. Something strong with the force? You shuddered, whatever or whoever it was, they were strong. Strong and they didn’t even know their own abilities yet. You prayed Ren had not sensed them. 

Your focus shifted as a tie fighter burst away from the ship. It’s shrieking cry surprisingly loud in the bridge area. Hux cursed, spinning towards his officers and screaming orders. You watched with bated breath. 

It was Poe. You just knew it was. 

“Sir.” You looked towards a rather sour looking man, “They’ve taken out our turbo-lasers.” 

You hid a smirk. He truly was the best damn pilot. Hux responded, but you ignored it, watching the tiny Tie-fighter wizz about like a crazed fly. You hoped Poe would be alright. You wanted to help, wanted to deflect some of the lasers, but it Kylo was still on this ship, he’d know. You were merely force sensitive and just moving one laser blast would take immense effort on your part. Enough to kill you. 

So you watched and prayed.

You felt your heart stop as you heard your husband’s modulated voice. He was talking to Hux. Asking about Poe. Hux stood attentively, clearly not wanting to receive the wrath of Kylo Ren. Ren stalked over next to you, watching the ship. You glanced up at him, wondering what he might do.

“It’s FN-2187.” You shuddered as he turned to gaze at you. Kylo’s hand came up slightly, toying with the edge of your shirt. Or rather, his shirt. He paused as one of Hux’s officers said something. You felt your heart drop as the ginger gave the order to fire.

The ventral cannons. Could Poe outrun them? Why was he so instantly staying above Jakku? You blinked. BB-8. Of course, the droid must have the map piece. And he was still on Jakku. 

You watched, stomach in knots as the Tie-fighter valiantly tried to fight off the rounds. One of them hit and you watched, horrified, as the Tie-fighter fell into a downward spiral.

A death spiral. 

Turning, you walked from the bridge, back into the elevator. BB followed you back to your quarters, beeping sadly as you dejectedly climbed into bed. Poe was gone. Dead. The BB unit would no doubt be captured. The Resistance snuffed out. 

But not entirely. Because there was you. 

You stood, looking out at the vast expanse of space that lay beyond your window. You would take out Snoke and end this farce, once and for all. 

You would end the First Order.


	6. Traitorous Queen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You were his wife and you would use that to your advantage. But sometimes, things do not go as planned. The First Order was a horrific.

You awoke with a start. Confusion as always blurring your mind for a moment. You sat up, the black silk of your sheets sliding from your form. BB sat on his charging pad, off. Standing, you winced at the chill the metallic floor gave off. Space was cold, too cold. But somehow, not as cold as StarKiller base. This hellscape of a planet was a frozen hunk of ice with a few forests here and there. It was ugly and a perfect representation of the First Order. 

You longed to be back on your home world, enjoying the sun’s warm rays. To be leaning over the railing of your balcony, hands trailing across the bright blossoms of the large flowers that grew so fiercely across your home world’s surface. You wished to hear the bird song and laughter of those who worked in the marketplace. 

But, dwelling wouldn’t help make anything better. It didn’t change your situation. You had been dropped off here to await Kylo, his ship, the Finalizer off doing some stupid mission. Left alone to wonder how the fate of the galaxy was. 

You shuffled into the bathroom, quickly shedding your sleepwear and getting into the shower. This was the best way to think. Here, in the dark grey shower, you felt completely detached from the rest of existence. Safe within the dark walls, your thoughts protected. Running your hands through your hair, you quickly washed. Though it was a good place to think, you didn’t like to linger too long. Afraid of being caught by him, vulnerable and bare. You avoided intimacy with him at all costs. Shying from his hands and searching eyes. 

Stalking back into the room, you sighed, looking about at the dark room. Today was important, you were going to use your position to your advantage. Hope was dwindling in the universe, you could feel it. But you knew, as long as the Resistance was still alive, that the fire of hope, would remain and grow. You had to let them know you were an ally in this war. The fight of light and dark. Being a spy shouldn’t be too hard, especially as the Commander's wife. 

You swung open the closet door, glowering at the many gowns that lay within. Foot tapping impatiently, you shoved aside dress after dress until you found the one. It was black (what else is new), with silvery threads embroidered haphazardly across the skirts. Tight at the chest, it hugged you tight, pushing your breasts up slightly and accentuating your waist. The skirt billowed out, layers upon layers of soft silky black. You pulled a pair of tall heels out of the wardrobe, shutting it as you slipped them on. It gave you another 4 inches of height, another 4 inches of authority. 

Walking over to your vanity, you sat, staring at your reflection. It was a strange mimic of the day of your marriage. But this time, you were alone, alone and in a dark, twisted version of your old life. Quickly, you did your makeup, lining your eyes with dark pencil, before applying mascara. Then a brush of red across your lips. You narrowed your eyes at your reflection and smiled. 

Nearly what you wanted.

Next was accessories. The icing of any outfit and often, what could make royalty even more intimidating. You opened a bottom draw on the vanity, shuffling about till you hands landed on the box you wanted. Within, the red choker Ren had given you. You donned it quickly, turning your head right and left. Though originally you had thought it ugly, now, you understood it.   
Ren has said you intimidated him and now his gifts made sense. He had given you one of the most dangerous substances in the galaxy. Not as a weapon or a boon, but as jewelry. An accessory to further your deadly look. You gently touched one of the Kyber Crystal, feeling the slight hum that it gave off. 

Turning back, you slammed the drawer shut, opening a different one. Within, a crown. It had been from your parents, their wedding gift to you. It too was red and soft gold, but made from gems your home planet naturally had. You found it beautiful, the metal work twisted to look like leaves, leading to the ruby red blooms that the gems looked like. 

Twisting your hair into an elaborate bun atop your head, you carefully nestled the delicate crown on your scalp. It sat, like a collection of towers.   
Last, were two dew drop earrings. The sat, nestled against your ears like two little pinpricks of blood. You looked at the woman in the mirror and she regarded you coldly. You smiled. 

Perfect.

You awoke BB and swooped out of your room, skirts flowing about you, like a mass of black water. BB followed excitedly, no doubt wonder why you were so made up. As you exited your room, the six troopers that were always outside, stood straighter. Though you couldn’t see their faces, you could feel their slight confusion and the irritation from the one. You decided, that ignoring them was not the best route. No. You’d have them fear you as they did Ren. You would make them see the fire of the Resistance. 

“No salute? No salutations for me?” You scoffed, curling your lip in disgust. With a cold glance you waited, feeling the confusion turn to fear. The troopers saluted, one of them, a woman, chirping out a quick ‘Good Morning Ma’am’. You nodded, pleased. Ren and Hux were idiots. They had broken and brain washed their soldiers so much, that these men and women were quick to fear new authority. A weakness that you and others could use.

You went quickly down the hall. You needed to talk to Hux, or rather, question him. Any information you could get that could be relayed back to the Resistance. Anything that you could use against them, to free yourself. You paused in front of the elevators, glancing back at the six troopers. You glowered, eyes narrowing. 

“I hope you don’t presume to share an elevator with me.” You sniffed haughtily, hands on your waist. The troopers looked at each other, then back at you, once more confused. BB beeped lowly and to your ears, it sounded like amusement. 

“Ma’am.”, It was the female trooper again, she stepped forwards slightly, gesturing at her comrades.

“We’ve been assigned to ensure your safety aboard the base. You’re a prime target and the Commander wants you safe.”

You laughed, noting the slight flinch from the head trooper. Glaring at them, you gestured at your overly large dress and BB. They stared, unmoving. 

“You expect me, to risk ruining my droid and dress, just so i’m “SAFE” crunched in an elevator with you fools?!”

You allowed your voice to rise, using a fake anger to fuel your words. The troopers flinched again, and the passing officers glanced at you quickly, hurrying past as fast as they could. You had to fight back a smile. This was a lot more fun than you thought it would be. No wonder your husband and that insufferable Hux stomped about all day, yelling and snarling at people. 

“No Ma’am.” The trooper responded quickly, fear evident in her voice, “We’ll take the elevator after you.”

You nodded sharply, hurrying onto the elevator and quickly closing the doors.

“BB, take us to the cafeteria floor, once there, find the next nearest elevator and take me to Hux’s command bridge or whatever he calls his yelling spot.” 

The little droid whistled happily, complying with your commands. 

As the elevator rose, you took a deep breath, shaking slightly. Hux would be harder to fool. The man might’ve been cocky and arrogant, but he was a General for a reason and you couldn’t let your guard down. The minute you let your facade slip, he’d pounce and rip you apart. 

You dashed off the elevator as it stopped, following BB down the hall a for what felt like forever before sliding into the next one. No sooner had the doors shut, then it shot up. You hoped the idiot troopers had no idea where you were. You laughed, crouching and hugging your little droid.

“You’re the best little Resistance fighter BB!” 

It beeped happily, doing a tiny circle about you. You laughed again, standing. Though marrying Kylo Ren had been exactly what you hadn’t wanted to do, the one good thing that had come out of it had been BB.

The elevator halted, arriving at your destination. You waited, hand on the door open button. It was colder, you could see you breath and it confused you, causing you to pause, fear sinking in. Taking a deep breath, you glanced at BB. The little droid looked up, whistling encouragement.   
You blinked. You had understood it. Not completely, but you had understood the general meaning of the little droids words. The notion gave you a surge of confidence. 

You pressed the button.

The doors swooshed open and you walked out. A tall sight surrounded by a sea of black skirts and glittering ruby jewels. But it was you who were stunned. You stood, gazing at a sea of red. Every now and then, glimpses of black and white came through slits that ran up and up the seemingly endless red. Frowning, you stepped forward, lightly touching the flickering item. It was icy cold fabric. You were outside. Shivering you flinched as a trooper came up, saluting you and standing at attention.

“TY-1355! At your service Ma’am!”

This trooper was unlike the others, emanating respect and not fear. You tried not to frown and show your confusion. This was different and you weren’t sure if it was a good thing.

“Ma’am. We had not been informed of your arrival. Please excuse the lack of preparation for your presence.” 

You dipped your head slightly, trying not to let you shivers get too evident. The trooper swung an arm out, holding back the red fabric. You stepped forward and nearly stopped in horror. But you continued, eyes taking in the overpowering sight before you. 

Hux and a handful of guards and officers stood on a large stage before an entire army of troopers and officers. So many. A sea of black and white that never seemed to end. It was akin to three, no maybe even four, planets worth of military. It was horrific. No wonder so many just bowed down. The First Order had enough pawns that should you kill one, three more would take their place. 

“Ahh, Y/N.” Hux smirked at you, “Here to watch tonight’s entertainment?”

You glared at him, showing only disdain and disgust to the man. You couldn’t let him know you were shaken. He dipped his head and turned, beginning a hate filled speech. You tuned him out, eyes darting about to see what was happening. 

No prisoners nearby, so not an execution. 

You winced as his speech turned into a loud shrieking rasp. You watched him, the spit flying from his mouth, the utter maniacal glee that crossed his face. He looked raving mad, a lunatic. 

“FIRE!”

You frowned, fire what? You sat on a hunk of ice, in nearly the middle of nowhere. What was the point of this speech? The point of the order. You cursed yourself for tuning out the speech. Maybe BB had caught it. You turned to ask and paused. The stage was rumbling. No, you looked out at the horizon, the trees and sky shaking as you were.

The planet was shaking beneath your feet. An earthquake? No, it couldn’t be, all outside remained stoic. Or in Hux’s case, idiotically gleeful. 

BB beeped frantically, little metal arm reaching out to clasp your skirts. Something bad? Yes you knew that, the little droid didn’t have to tell you that much. You focused, motioning for the droid to continue. 

You blinked as a word, clear as day was discerned from BB’s beeps. Death.

But time had run out to figure it out. You watched, horror stricken as a violent red beam shot out of the planet’s core. The noise it made was nearly deafening, shaking you to your core. You watched as the clouds and sky around you bled red. 

Of course. 

It was an execution. Of the one power the First Order could find and Kill. The resistance only friends. 

The red beam traveled fast. There was no hope of them escaping, no hope for them to do anything, but watch as death approached. 

You felt it when the beam hit the first planet. You gasped low, feeling the force tremble and writhe about you. It was painful and you swore you could hear the cries of millions of voices, their confusion and sadness. Their hopelessness. An entire system was dying and you could do nothing but watch and feel as life was ripped from them.

You buckled, head swimming. Faintly, you head BB shriek and the trooper who had guided you onto the stage call out in fear. As you began to black out, you could see and sense Hux’s amusement and triumph. You had buckled in front of him and he would never cow before you now. 

 

\------------------------

 

You awoke in your quarters again. Still in your dress and jewelry. Staring blankly at the ceiling, you found that hope had once more left you. What could you do? They had a weapon that destroyed entire systems. No one could fight that.

“Ma’am?”

You nearly screamed at the sudden voice. Sitting up, you turned to see a trooper and BB peeking in at you from the doorway.

“You seemed to have fainted from the cold Ma’am.” The trooper took a hesitant step in. His voice was familiar, you frowned. Was it the trooper from the stage?

“TY-1355?” You asked, swinging your legs over the side of your bed and standing. The trooper nodded, standing at attention again. You frowned, why was he still here? You looked at BB questioningly. The droid wiggled it’s head in what you assumed was a droid shrug. 

“Why’re you here.” You didn’t mean to snap, but it came out harsh. The trooper didn’t flinch however, merely nodding.

“Well, the squad deployed to protect you was…....” He paused, and you could sense fear radiating off him.

“Well they were executed for incompetence. For leaving you alone.” So matter of fact. Like he was used to the senseless killings of his fellow troopers. 

You swallowed, your throat suddenly seeming to close. You were the cause of their death. Because of you and your stupid mission that had failed. 

You stared at the trooper, unsure of what to do. Words seemed to difficult to use and you felt a great tired wave overcome your body and mind. The trooper stared back, clearly uncomfortable. 

“Do you mind leaving.” It was a command, though lame and dull. 

“Of course Ma’am. I’ll be right outside if you need anything.” He saluted and swiftly left.

You lay back down, staring dully at the wall. You heard BB beep, it was worry. But you couldn’t be bothered to comfort it right now. You didn’t care. You were a killer, like those First Order bastards.

The door opened again and you felt a slight rise of irritation. Was the trooper back to bother you? To tell you that your husband or Hux wanted to talk to you. You didn’t care, remaining in your position.

“Hux said you collapsed. I came as soon as I could.” 

You stiffened, turning slightly. It was Kylo. He looked concerned, his brow creased. You turned away, not wanting to see his pitiful face. But that didn’t deter the man. You nearly jumped out of your skin as his hand ran over your bare shoulder. It was warm and you realized that you were still freezing cold. 

“Oh love.” His voice was sharp, worry radiating off him. You closed your eyes, trying to block out his emotions. They were so strong and it confused you. He cared so much, it made no sense. 

“Let’s warm you up.” 

You began to protest as he lifted you, pulling the covers back and laying you back on the bed. He began to pull the covers over you, then paused, taking in what you were wearing.

“Why did you get so dressed up?” Ren’s dark eyes searched your face, confusion written clearly across his face. You turned your head away, hand drifting up to touch your necklace. When you felt the buzzing at the edge of your mind, you glanced at him, a frown etched deep on your face. He matched it, eyes narrowing. 

You gasped as he entered your mind. Panic welled in your throat, this was it. He would kill you and destroy BB. Your life was over.

Kylo jerked back, eyes wide. He stared and you wondered what he had seen. If he was going to kill you. Your eyes drifted to his waist and were his lightsaber hung, a deadly reminder. 

“You mourn them.” You frowned, confused. “You mourn the resistance, those who’ve died. The system we destroyed.” 

“You destroyed.” You snapped, sitting up. He frowned, shaking his head slightly. “You’re part of the First Order a crucial part. Our actions are your actions.” 

You let out a high-pitched laugh, now standing to confront him. “No. I am not like you at all. I didn’t decide killing an entire system was a good idea.” 

“Yet you did nothing to stop it.”

You felt your nostrils flare, anger seeping through every inch of your body. “I had no idea REN!” You snarled, stepping forward and jabbing a finger into his broad chest.

“No one tells me anything! I sit in this FUCKING PRISON ROOM AND ROT.” Your voice was a high shriek, tears welled in your eyes and you angrily brushed them away, frustrated at this show of weakness.

Kylo looked at you, expression unreadable, then he spoke.

“You were held by the resistance, we don’t know if you were brainwashed. I can’t get into your mind if you don’t want me to and even when I do, I merely see flashes of what’s on your mind. How can you be trusted?”

You stood up straight, fury filling you. 

“I’m your wife.” You hissed, triumph filling you as his head jerked, hurt and surprise flashing across his face. Kylo turned, head bowed slightly. The pause was long and you began to feel fear, creeping back into your being.

“Are you though?” The question was barely audible. You frowned, unsure if you had heard correctly. What could he mean by that?

“We have yet to consummate our marriage, you barely look at me or touch me. So…… are you?”

You stood, at a loss for words. He was right. You had had made no effort to even try to be affectionate. You had allowed him to touch you, until his hands came to close to your hips or breasts. You only looked at him when it was needed, choosing to avoid it if you could. 

It was only two nights ago, during your long talk, when you had actually shown any kindness to him. Shown him affection. 

You realized that you had been approaching this wrong. This whole situation was a mess and you had only muddled this further. You had only one thing you could do and that’s all you needed to do. No spying for the resistance, no moping over a dead pilot that had given you your first kiss. No trying to destroy the StarKiller. No, you had one job and one job only. And you’d do it well. 

Taking a shaking breath, you straightened, looking him dead in the eye.

“Then let’s restart. On the right foot.”

You reached back and tugged your dresses zipper, allowing the soft silk to fall off your body. You stood nearly bare before him, waiting for his move.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo yo, here are links to what I sorta imagine the Dress, Crown and Necklace to be like. If you guys have any suggestions for gowns and accessories for future chapter, send them my way and perhaps I'll use them!
> 
> https://www.polyvore.com/cgi/img-thing?.out=jpg&size=l&tid=110261851
> 
> https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/1090/2828/products/IMG_3366__2_580x.jpg?v=1509955854
> 
> https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0644/2421/products/red_tiara_1_large.jpg?v=1496290834


	7. An interlude and Intimacy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You found something you thought impossible.

You were like statues, eyes never breaking contact. You shivered, goose pimples breaking out across your body as you once more, were reminded of the icy chill the hellscape Starkiller provided. But the cold seemed to fade as you continued looking into Kylo’s eyes. His expression was completely void of any emotion. Was he stunned? Thinking? Trying to read your mind? 

You didn’t know what to do next and it honestly scared you. His lack of a response scared you.

He took a step forward and it took every inch of willpower for you to not flinch. Ren’s expression was hesitant, mistrusting. You shivered again, staring up at him as he towered over you. He reached up and this time, you flinched. But he didn’t touch you. Instead he slipped his cape off, swirling it about your shoulders. You held it in place, slightly confused.

“I need to shower.” Ren seemed embarrassed by this fact, his cheeks heating up slightly. “If we are to be intimate, I don’t want to be dirty.” 

You nodded, stepping aside as he made his way to the bathroom. It was strange, you honestly hadn’t expected him to do something so considerate. You sat on the large plush bed, staring down at your feet. 

Where you doing the right thing? Had before you been doing the wrong thing? 

You felt conflicted. Ren had shown you nothing but kindness. Although you hated the order he ran, the things they did. The things he did, he had not done anything to you personally. Well, that wasn’t quite true, he had taken the freedom of your planet.

Sliding the cloak off, you lay back on the bed, gazing up at the dark ceiling. You had never felt so conflicted before.   
BB beeped, waving its little arm, before rolling to its charging dock and turning off. You stared at it for a moment and sighed. This would be a strange day. 

You heard the water turn off, and flinched. You were scared, but you knew this had to be done. Kylo Ren was your husband and there was no fighting that. The First Order was your enemy, not him. He was someone who could become your ally, become your protector and attack dog. You had to come to love him, to care for him. 

Kylo stepped out of the bathroom, a towel secured around his waist. You sat up, drawing your legs up to your chest. Shivering slightly, you waited, breath held. He seemed just as nervous, hiding his face slightly behind long locks of wet hair. You stood shakily, once more starting your staring contest.

 

\----------------------

 

Oola was safe, having been found by the resistance on Tatooine, she had been taken back to their base and put to work in the kitchens. The twi’lek didn’t mind, not really. She was too busy worrying about her Lady Y/N. Wondering where in the galaxy she could be, where the accursed Ren had taken her. 

She was grateful that the lady had contacted the resistance, had instructed them to save her. But why was Y/N not here? Not in the resistance? 

Oola’s hands shook slightly as she washed yet another dish. It seemed never ending. Sun up to sun down there was dish after dish after dish. It was tiresome, grueling work. Stretching, she winced as her spine cracked. 

“Uh, hey. You have a minute?” A female voice, Oola turned, gazing at one of the other kitchen staff. The girl was small, no more than 15 human years old. So young and so ready to fight the First Order. It saddened the Twi’lek, it reminded her of the ships that came to steal children to be slaves. The men and woman who stole babies from their parents. Of course, that’s how Oola had come to be Y/N’s maid servant. But the older Twi’lek told of their homeworld, of the stealing and pillaging other races committed. 

“There’s an injured pilot and he needs a meal.” 

Oola waited, surely she was not being asked to make a special meal. All she had done in the 9 or so days she had been here was wash dishes. The girl stood, making an expression that made no sense to Oola. 

“So I am to make it?”

The girl nodded shortly and promptly left. Oola let out a small grunt of frustration. This resistance needed better channels of communication. Sure the higher ups were fine, but everyone else was just a ragtag group of younglings or elders who never got along. 

Wiping her hands, she left the dish room, entering the actual kitchen area. It was crowded, men and women milling about, cutting food, grilling meats. A bit of a mess. She felt her lip curling in disgust at the sight of splattered juices and crumbs that covered the floor. So nasty, the palace had never been like that. But this was not the palace and she couldn’t think like that. 

“May I?” She inquired gently, pointing to a fresh plate of bread. The woman who had been slicing them nodded and motioned with her knife as if to say, ‘Go for it’.

Oola took two slices, placing them gently upon a clean plate. She then walked towards the meat station, quickly nabbing a few thin slices and placing them on one slice of bread. The grill cook gave her a rather petulant look, but Oola ignored him. He was a human and seemed rather opposed to other species being in the resistance. Oola was used to discrimination and it amused her now. He was in the same position as she and had no room to be nasty. 

What else? Humans seemed to like that gross solid milk. What was it? Cheese? Yes, that was it. 

Oola added a few slices of cheese, lips pulled down in disgust. Looking about, she added a Centrality specialty mustard, sprinkling a thinly sliced vegetation. She smacked the other slice of bread on top and sighed. 

It looked edible. But was it enough? Who was this pilot? Did he eat a lot? Oh gods, was he even human? Oola had just assumed. 

Oh well. She made her way to the door, grabbing a peach on her way out and placing it next to the sandwich. To the infirmary.

Which was where?

Oola headed off, praying she had picked the right way. 

Within a few moments, she was at a door marked infirmary. Good, wandering about the hallways was no on her list of things she wanted to do. Oola stepped inside, glancing about for a nurse. 

They too were bustling about, tending to various injured persons. It was again, a bit of a mess. Oola shook her head, wondering how in all blazes the Resistance ran so well. It seemed impossible.

“A meal for the pilot?” It came out as a question, not at all a statement. The nurse she had stopped gave her a look, shaking her head as she gestured about.

“Which pilot? The infirmary is full of them.” 

She was right, but it wasn’t Oola’s fault that the damn girl had been so vague. It frustrated her to no end. 

“Oh!” A different voice piped up. “Is that for Poe?”

Oola turned, looking at the smaller man that had spoken. She nodded hesitantly, holding out the plate. He gestured to a door down a small hallway. 

“He’s in there.” He stated gruffly, turning as a nurse called to him. And with that, he was gone. Oola scowled, sighing. Of course, more work to do. If she hadn’t been so concerned about Lady Y/N, she might’ve spent more time wondering if the resistance had just one too many people who viewed the twi’lek in a bad light. 

She walked into the small room, squinting in the dim light. A man lay in the small cot, he looked up as Oola walked in, smiling. 

“Hello! You brought me lunch?” He asked hopefully, big brown eyes looking hungrily at the the plate. Oola nodded, handing the plate and turning to leave.

“Wait!” Poe cries, his hand moving much too fast to grab her wrist. Oola flinches and let out a small cry. He apologizes, warm face contorting into a look of slight panic.

“You’re a Twi’lek, right?” 

Dear gods. Ool tried not to let any emotion show, already beyond done with the human race. Was this man going to be like the other 30+ who had tried to approach her for, ahem, “a good time”. 

“Would you know a twi’lek, Oola?” Poe sat up straighter, taking a massive bite out of the sandwich. “I told a friend of mine I’d find her and I know we recently rescued her.”

Oola snorted, only slightly amused. “I’m Oola.” 

Poe’s face lit up almost comically, and he nearly choked on his food in his eagerness to continue talking. 

“You’re Y/N’s friend!” He chirped happily. Oola nearly leapt at him, hearing her dearest friends name gave her hope.

“You’ve seen her?! Where is she?! Is she safe?!” Without realizing it, Oola had half climbed onto the cot, leaning towards the man. He laughed heartily, taking another bite of his food.

“You two truly are a strange pair.” Poe sighed and his expression became serious.

“I found her at a smuggler’s outpost. She asked for transport and I brought her and the little droid back here.” 

Oola nodded, twisting her fingers nervously. She wanted more, she wanted him to tell her where Lady Y/N was. 

“We….We had to give her to the First Order. It gave us time to find a map. She wasn’t happy, but she complied.” 

Oola stood sharply, cold fury boiling in her blood. “How could you?! She had gotten free!!”

Poe winced at her words, his eyes darkening with sadness. “I know. I hate that it had to happen, but it did.” 

Oola stood, unsure. What now? How did they save her? What was to be done?

“Listen.” Poe began, setting aside his now empty plate, his eyes intent. 

“We found a map. A map to a man who can end the First Order. Our hope in this fight. We have to get it back.”

Oola nodded slowly, If they got this man, if the First Order was crushed. Everyone would be safe. Y/N wouldn’t have to be around the VILE Kylo Ren anymore. She would be free. Free as the wind on the sandy coasts of their homeplanet. 

Oola would make sure of it.

 

\----------------------------

 

The staring contest had ended with a slight clearing of his throat and s shift of the towel. Then he was upon you, warm hands sliding up your sides, grasping at your breasts. 

Ren was so gentle, as if you were made of glass. You had expected him to be dominating, to just take what he wanted. But he didn’t. 

“Oh darling.” He breathed, eyes taking in your form as he gently lay you upon the bed. You found yourself no longer shaking, his hands igniting a fire low in your belly. 

You gasped as his plush lips pressed a kiss against you collarbone. He trailed his lips up your neck, warm breath tickling your ear. You wriggled slightly, trying to suppress a tiny moan. Kylo seemed to sense this, nipping your neck gently. You gasped, back arching the slightest amount.

He chuckled, pulling back and smiling. It surprised you, the smile was so happy, so gentle. 

While nervousness seemed to lurk behind it, there was genuine love and joy bursting forth. You found yourself smiling back at him, it waived, your nerves more powerful than his.

Placing your hands on his chest, you lifted yourself up slightly, placing a timid kiss upon his cheek. Ren nuzzled his face against yours, the gesture loving and warm. 

You slowly warmed up to his touches, leaning into them, moaning as he kissed down your neck and stopping at your breast, lips and chin resting upon   
your bra as he looked up at you. You waited, breath nearly nonexistent. Ren slowly, tortuously removed your bra, a smirk spreading across his face as impatience grew across your face. 

“Oh!” You gasped as with lightning speed, he tossed your bra across the room, his mouth latching on to your nipple. He chuckled, the sensation causing a wave of pleasure to ripple across your skin. You found your hips bucking up into his and you gasped once more as his towel finally fell off. He was huge. 

Scratch that, he was fucking gigantic. You stared, eyebrows arched in surprise. Kylo cleared his throat, his face bright red.

“D-do I look ok?” His voice cracked, your eyebrows couldn’t have gone any higher.

“I mean. I don’t have anything to compare it to.” You cleared your throat, slightly embarrassed. He nodded slightly, long hair brushing your forehead lightly. 

“Do I look ok?” You asked, voice soft and timid. He nodded quickly, eyes wide.

“Yes. You’re divine.” It was a mere whisper, his breath tickling your face. You shivered, then reaching up, you kissed him. He pressed into the kiss, his lips gentle at first, then growing hungry. 

You kissed back with equal passion, shivering as his tongue slipped between your lips. His hand was tangled in your hair, the other, tight against your hip, pulling you closer. You bucked against his hips, sliding a hand down to grasp his member, and he gasped, shuddering. 

And he was within you. Stretching your walls to near breaking point. You shuddered, wrapping your arms and legs about him. Kylo moaned into your ear, thrusting gently in and out. It felt like heaven. 

His pace picked up, each thrust jolting you slightly. You arched against him, trying to keep pace with him. Kylo nipped at your neck again, sending more waves of pleasure through your body. You clamped around him, moaning into his neck as your hands tangled in his hair. Your whole body was buzzing and you new in moments you would come. Kylo seemed to sense this, now veritably pounding into you as beneath him, you mewled in pleasure. 

You came in unison, both of you letting out gasps of pleasure. You raked your nails down his back, shuddering as his arms tightened about you, his thrusting ending. 

It was amazing. More than you expected and you found yourself feeling for the man. 

He collapsed besides you, panting slightly as he pushed raven locks back from his face. Ren’s face was flushed bright red and sweat was dewed lightly across his face. 

“I’m sorry that was so quick.” He whispered, rolling onto his side to pull you close to him. You snuggled close, exhaustion setting in. 

“It was nice.” You whispered back, eyes fluttering closed as you pressed your face in the crook of his neck. You breathed in deeply, enjoying his scent. It was a mixture of sweat, cologne and was that snow? It was a cold, yet comforting smell. 

“I hope you didn’t force yourself to do this.” He murmured against you hair, arms tightening about you. You paused, then shook your head, keeping your eyes closed. 

“No Kylo. Never.” Your voice was barely above whisper. He hummed in response, shifting slightly to pull the silken bedding over your forms. It was warm and for the first time, you felt completely safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy!! :)


	8. Set in Motion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The wheels of several events are set in motion. Will you survive all of it?

You blinked blearily as a cold breeze suddenly swept across your form. You shifted, body aching in ways that were completely new. The pain was foreign, yet in some ways, pleasant. IT reminded you of the night’s actions. The pleasure and newness you had found with Kylo. The man you had hated.

You blinked, rolling onto your side as you stared at your hands. Past tense, you had said ‘Had’. It was true though, you didn’t hate him. Something had replaced that. You weren’t sure you would call it love. It was nothing like how you felt for you Mother or Father or Oola. But, it was similar. Perhaps it was stronger than that. A need almost. 

Speaking of that.

You rose onto your elbows, looking about. The bed was empty, you knew that before your eyes had even opened. The room was empty as well, but Kylo’s helmet sat upon the dresser that faced the bed. He was home, just not in this room. At least you thought so, you weren’t sure you had ever seen him outside of the quarters without his helmet.

You stood, wincing and made a face in the direction of the helmet. It was ugly and unnecessary. From what you had heard and witnessed, he had killed, tortured and intimidated enough people that if he wanted to walk around naked he could and still earn the same respect. Well, respect probably wasn’t the right word, he was feared and hated. 

You grabbed a silky black robe that looked as though it had been left out for you. A nice gesture, something that surprised you. You had assumed the man was too cold for that. But he had proven time and time again to care for you. Though at times it felt that it was more you were his object and toy rather than his wife. Still, he did care. 

Shuffling across the room, you made your way into the bathroom. The cold tiles made you wince, your whole body was now uncomfortable. You just wanted a shower and warm clothing. 

“OH SHIT!” You shrieked as you tripped over seemingly nothing. You overcorrected, stumbling onto your knees and nearly smacking your face against the shower door. 

You cursed lowly, scowling at the floor in frustration. Not a great start to the morning. Nearly dying by smashing into a freaking shower was no way for a queen to go. But then again, the way your life had been the past few years, it would be almost fitting. Unlady-like and completely foolish. 

“MY LADY!” 

You shrieked at the loud, yet muffled voice. You scrambled backwards like a crab, your thankfully large robe covering you. Smacking your head against the shower you cursed, clutching at your head as you glared up at the intruder. 

It was that storm trooper. TY-1355, was it?

“Sorry for startling you. It’s just, I heard the shriek and assumed the worst.” The trooper seemed bashful, clearly embarrassed for barging in on you nearly naked. 

You stood, rubbing the back of your head.

“It’s fine.” You muttered, crossing your arms and staring him down. “Why're you here. Where’s my husband?” 

The trooper stiffened, clearly expecting an outburst. You raised an eyebrow, you were not in any way like your childish partner. You didn’t scream for no reason. 

“He’s off planet. They’ve gone after a girl and some droid.” 

You raised an eyebrow. This was new, a girl? 

You felt something inside you twinge and frowned. Jealousy? Why were you feeling that? You didn’t like it. It felt too much like you had indeed fallen in love with the giant, dark, moody man. 

“So why’re you here?” The question he didn’t answer and clearly didn’t want to ever due to his posture. He seemed so afraid. You blinked, you guessed it made sense. HE had just barged in on his boss’s wife nearly naked. He probably thought you’d tell Kylo and he’d be promptly tortured and killed. 

It made you sad. To you the ultimate power was respect. With respect came love and honesty and a willingness to listen and help. With fear, all it breed was hatred and betrayal. Nothing good ever came of it. 

“Well.” The trooper shifted, the lights reflecting off his helmet in a dazzling way. “I suppose lord Ren scanned my mind and found me to not be annoying nor distasteful to you.” 

Wow. You almost snorted. Was it that obvious that you hated nearly everyone on this cold hell scape? Kylo had really done that. 

“Alright.” You sighed, shrugging. Protection was good, you were no doubt a prime target for assassin's and what not. 

TY-1355 stood awkwardly, waiting for some reason. You cleared your throat, gesturing to the shower, then the door.

“Oh! Of course, I’m sorry my lady. I’ll be in the living room, call me should you need me.” 

He saluted hastily and practically ran out of the room, the door slamming loudly behind him. 

You sighed again, slipping off your robe and stepping into the shower. Today felt like it’s be long, too long. 

 

\-----------------------

 

Unbeknownst to you and to Kylo, there was someone plotting your demise. Someone hoping to kill the both of you in one fell swoop.   
Armitage Hux slid a heavy purse across his desk. The contents inside clinked gently, a rich sound that promised so much more should the deed be done. 

The figure that sat across from him made a noise that sounded amused. He was an assassin of the highest class, a kill count in the thousands and not one pointed towards him. He was too quiet, to careful. A sith lord and his wife would be no trouble.

Armitage felt sweat slide down the back of his neck and into the collar of his shirt. He was trying not to show his fear, his shaking resolve. 

It was no use though. The man, or rather creature if you were truly honest, could smell fear. It only amused him further. This weak stray dog, attempting to assassinate his master. 

“I assume you shall wire the rest?” He spoke, the gravelly unnatural sound of his voice making Armitage wince. 

The redhead was quick to nod, a few strands of his hair slipping out of its neat combed position, sweeping across his forehead. Sweat glistened like dew drops across his face. 

“The method is up to me?” 

Armitage shook his head, looking as though it pained him too.

“Make him watch you kill her. Then kill him. Make it look like he killed her.” 

The assassin grunted, nodding. He grabbed the bag of money, Armitage jumping in his seat, arms half lifting in fear. The assassin laughed, standing swiftly and leaving. 

Armitage sat back, heart racing. It was practically done. Then, then he would be Snoke’s top dog, the man who commanded so much more than just the army. The man who commanded the Knights of Ren. 

 

He didn’t know however, of the trooper who had slight force abilities and a loyalty of a brother. Armitage didn’t know of the Twi’lek woman and the Resistance Pilot who intended to save their beloved friend. He didn’t know of your growing love towards Kylo Ren and Ren’s love for you. 

Armitage didn’t know that he had just made a very, very big mistake. 

 

\--------------

 

You walked swiftly down the long, shiny hallways. Kylo was here somewhere. You knew he was back, that they had captured some girl. For a map apparently. If TY-1355’s sources were correct.

“BB scan again? Can you tell where he is?” 

Your little droid whistled, a tiny green light popping up on his head as he once more scanned for you husband. 

“I could ask General Hux?” TY-1355 said tentatively. You snorted, shaking your head and flapping a hand in his direction. 

“I trust him about as much as I trust a freaking thief.” 

The trooper shrugged, as if to agree. You smiled, you liked him more and more. You hoped he was warming to you, realizing you weren’t as volatile as your husband. 

BB beeped, racing ahead as he seemingly pinpointed your husbands location.

“BB wait!” You grabbed your skirts, racing to follow him. TY-1355 clacked behind you, his cumbersome armor making his movements look slightly ridiculous. 

The little droid whipped around the corner, you gaped at this, the little guy was moving like a freaking star cruiser going into hyperdrive. 

“BB!” You turned the corner and skidded to a halt. Kylo was storming towards you, helmet-less, face covered in sweat. He looked ready to commit murder. Whirring back was BB, clearly terrified and not wanting to be anywhere near the fuming sith. 

“Kylo.” You stepped into his path, reaching out and putting a hand on his arm. He paused, glancing down at your hand then you with a nasty expression. 

It took a lot of willpower not to glare right back. You were sorely tempted to get in his face, but no. You were trying to be better and what he needed right now, was comfort. A loving wife. 

Could you be that? Could you be what he needed, what you had so stoutly been against?

“Kylo” You breathed, sliding your hand up to caress his face. He relaxed, the tightness in his face going slack. The anger and frustrations melting as he closed his eyes, nuzzling your palm. 

“Let’s go to our quarters.” You whispered, grabbing his hands and tugging him gently. 

You turned and saw TY-1355 trying his very best to look like he hadn’t been watching. He was probably sweating heavily in that armour. 

You smiled gently, trying to reassure the man. You weren’t sure it did anything though, the helmet was impassive as ever. 

“Come along.” You walked him all the way back to your quarters, mind racing. You chewed on your bottom lip, worrying. Who was the girl, why had she upset Kylo so much?

Why were you feeling jealous? 

You didn’t know and it scared you slightly. But you couldn’t let it show. You had to be strong. You just had to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been a while since I last updated. School has been stressing me and depressing me, I wasn't expecting such a challenging semester. But it is my last, so soon the stress of good grades and passing shall be lifted. Fingers crossed it gets better and I can write like normal!


	9. Anything at all

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo's priorities were changing.

The distain and disgust that had so plagued you on your wedding day was back. It coiled in your veins like a familiar friend. The hatred and mistrust of Ren boiled and bubbled away, your lips pursing as you struggled to keep them under wraps, so as to not explode. 

You lay on your back, fingers resting lightly upon your stomach. The ceiling above your bed was boring, dull. The surface was like that of a swap, murky, twisting your form into that of a monster. And yet it held your gaze, or rather, you were staring fiercely at it in an attempt not to look at the man who was pacing back and forth like an angry guard dog. You didn’t want to play this game, didn’t want to deal with a tantrum that you just knew was boiling beneath his skin. Kylo was infamous for his outburst. 

And you didn’t want to be in the way of one. It pissed you off. And something else. You weren’t sure what this feeling was. It was strange and burning, much like anger. Except it saddened and worried you at the same time. It was an ugly emotion, it was too loud, too well, THERE. Envy perhaps?

But of what? You had everything. A Lavish life, wonderful clothing and of course, power by proxy. Though the trade off for that was the man baby who currently was so red in the face you were quiet certain he was about to pass out from being so so angry. 

 

“HOW?!” Kylo snapped for the millionth time, stopping his pacing for a moment to cast his gaze about in fury. Your eyes slid off the ceiling onto his face. He was furious, for first time in front of you. At least fully. You remembered the day your Father’s more outspoken attendants had spoke his last. You had been practically dragged from the room by Oola as the tall and intimidating figure had stood. As the doors closed you had seen the look in the attendants eyes, his understanding that death was upon him. But he didn’t scream. No the cries you had heard were that of Kylo Ren in tantrum mode. 

You stared mutely at the ceiling again, waiting. The outburst did not scare you. He was like a child, howling and crying for show, to get some type of control over something he had no control over. Because beneath it all, the fiery anger and frustration, was fear. Kylo Ren was afraid.   
It was no wonder Hux had no respect for him, or you. Then again, the red head seemed to only respect himself. 

“Can you see inside my mind?” He snapped, a little glob of spit spraying from his lips. You scowled distastefully. First of all, while you had been chosen for being force sensitive, it truly meant nothing. He had so many guards up and outward anger that even if you could, you wouldn’t be able too. And Secondly, why was he just letting the glob of spit sit on his uniform? 

This is what you got for assuming some sort of love could be had in a sith. He was no more than a murderous child. How stupid of you to hope for anything else. You had given him a respect of a wife and in return, one little outside problem went wrong and here you sat, watching a grown man look at you like a feral wolf boy. 

“No.” You stated, sitting up, running a tired had through your hair. “Can you see into mine?” 

That gave him pause. He leaned back and frowned, part of his anger melting. Kylo crossed his arms, brows furrowing. His dark eyes squinting at you.   
“I suppose not. You’re mind is usually to fuzzy. As though you were asleep constantly. No clarity in anything. Just faint emotions at times.” 

Hmmmm. So he really couldn’t read your mind. Good. That made things a lot less stressful. You wondered if you thought hard enough if you could project an emotion. A lie essentially. 

The thought was cute off as he let out a loud growl, the anger back quicker then hyperdrive. You rolled your eyes as he stomped from the room, muttering.

He was off no doubt to destroy a room or needless kill some poor officer’s assistant. As least that’s what TY-1355 said he did. The trooper was shaking as he recounted the destruction. You were more peeved than angry. And you knew Hux was as well. Perhaps you could find common ground with the weasel. You thought of an alliance with him for 2.5 seconds before deciding you’d rather not die to a knife in the back.

TY-1355’s helmet rolled into the room, a large footprint planted squarely in the middle. Great, now he was taking his anger out on your trooper. Bastard...

You weren’t surprised, a little disgusted, but not surprised. You had remembered how the lower officers had treated everyone on your home planet. They did so without fear in front of blank faced superiors. Like children repeating a swear they had learned from a parent. The parent in this case? Kylo Ren. Hate breeds hate and violence only results in violence. It was sick cycle and it didn’t appear it would be broken anytime soon.

You sat up briskly as a high beep and the sound of glass shattering exploded through the thick silence. BB was rolling crazily into the room, shrieking nonsense. Kylo, had kicked the poor droid it seemed, a large dusty foot print sat smack on BB’s little head. 

“WHAT THE HELL?!” You stormed into the front room, fists clenched tightly at your sides. Rage boiled in your stomach. You knew Ty could take a hit or two, but BB? The droid was like a child, he didn’t know why he was being attacked. The room was empty, of course, except for TY-1355, who lay tangled with what had been a very expensive and very historic vase from your home planet. You blinked, realizing this was the first time you’d ever seen his face. It was a tangled mess of silvery scars on impossibly white skin. He looked mildly annoyed, pink irises half hidden by the squint he had directed to the ceiling. No doubt cursing Kylo to high heaven. 

You glowered at the door and let out a very frustrated snort. It would seem that you had thought too highly of him too soon. The man was as you had thought on your wedding day. A disgusting dictator. You were merely a trophy. A pawn. 

“You ok?” You looked back at TY who had yet to move. The trooper grunted, raising a shaky thumbs up. 

“I think I just need to lay here a little while.” He sounded awfully tired and resigned. You understood the feeling. Nodding, you glowered once more at the mess and grit your teeth. 

Stupid asshole prick of a man… 

You had a job to do. First on the list? Find that freaking girl. 

Storming back into your bedroom, you flung open your closet. Something light, easy to move in, maybe combat ready? No dress, maybe heels? Despite what many though, you could more easily and swiftly in heels. An advantage when tricking more idiotic parties (Hux). You had to play this smart so that no suspicion was raised. Hux and Kylo could NOT be alerted. Hell, no one. You didn’t know the other officers besides the vague different old white man variance in their faces. But no doubt, they’d leap at a chance to prove Kylo Ren’s wife a traitor. This whole cursed planet was teaming with backstabbing idiots. 

You scowled at the selection. Black dress after black dress. All restrictive, all cumbersome. It seemed someone had eliminated pants and blouses from your wardrobe. No boots either, only stupid stiletto heels, hardly appropriate. This was annoying, it made your anger peak even farther. You couldn’t even wear what you wanted anymore. 

Walking back into the front room, you nodded at TY-1355. He nodded back from his still sprawled position on the floor. The poor man looked ready to just call it quits and jump out a window. You imagined that when he signed up he had not imagined he’d be Kylo ren’s punching bag and the assigned guard dog for his wife. You twisted your lips as you wondered if he had even signed up. Or if he was kidnapped. There were rumors of that. You just hopped it wasn’t so. 

“Where do they keep trooper uniforms? The part that goes under your armour? The black pajama looking parts?”

The trooper was silent for a moment, clearly taken aback. He blinked slowly, nearly invisible eyebrows furrowed.

“Well. Um.” He paused, cleared his throat and sighed.

“ Is it overstepping my boundaries asking why?” He was clearly expecting some royal tantrum. 

You shook your head, smiling. He was beginning to warm up to you, much like Oola had when she had first been assigned to you. Though back then, both of you were children. Neither of you had realized the true meaning of her being there. Of her being bought as a servant, a slave. 

Your smile slid off your face as worry constricted your heart. You hoped Oola was safe. That the resistance had sent her somewhere far far away, where the eyes of the First order couldn’t reach. Where she could be happy. 

“I want to find that girl.” You stated flatly. Ty nodded slowly, propping himself up into a sitting position.

“Because she made Lord Ren mad?” 

You laughed, nodding. “I want to know why she deserves a full blown tantrum.”

Ty laughed, the sound so light and airy. It made your smile widden. Ty clapped a hand over his mouth, his cheeks turning bright red. 

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to laugh at your husband.” He looked ashamed and mortified. You wondered if he was the first trooper to laugh at Ren and get away with it. Probably not. But then again, you wouldn’t be surprised if it happened. 

“Please. He’s more my keeper then husband.” You sorted, extending a hand for him to grab. Pulling Ty to his feet, you motioned to the beat up helmet that lay in your room. He nodded his silvery head and quickly grabbed it, securing it snugly before turning to you with a thumbs up.

“Let’s go get some pajamas.” 

You laughed again, truly grateful that this was the trooper assigned to you. You had found a friend. Well two friends, you smiled as BB rolled up excited, waving his little lighter in what you assumed was a mimic of Ty. 

Your team was ragtag and tiny. But you’d take it any day. 

 

\---------------------------------------

Rey was confused. She had no idea who this angry disgusting man was, why he wanted Luke Skywalker (weird name but she’d keep it to herself). But she did know she’d scared him. Scared him bad. His mind was like the ships she used to scavenge. Twisted and empty in a way that was unsettling. Instead of desert air and sand twisting about metal hallways, it was fear coiled about every iota of his mind. No corner seemed at peace. He was afraid of some guy named Darth Vader (again weird name). And there was another fear. Deeper down. She hadn’t seen what it was. But it was there, buzzing away like a faulty droid. 

Rey tugged again at the large metal restraints. There was no wiggle room, so she wasn’t getting out that way. So how?

She lay back down, eyes flitting over to the trooper that stood at the door. Maybe, just maybe she could convince him to let her out? Like how Ren had been trying. Mind powers or whatever. The force? 

Rey squinted at him, breathing in deep as she readied herself. She hopped this would work. She had to get back to Finn and Han. And Home. Rey pursed her lips, trying not to think of Jakku. Of the time that had passed. Of her parents. It was all just clutter and she needed a clear mind for this. 

She breathed again and halted as the trooper moved to look at the opening door. She hoped it wasn’t Ren. Back to taunt her, to look into her mind like a mind pervert. 

She let out her breath slowly as a woman and another trooper came into view. Rey frowned, she felt as if she knew the woman. She seemed familiar even though Rey knew she’d never seen her before. She looked bizarre in an ill fitting black outfit and strange footwear.  
Rey winced at her shoes. Never seen those either but boy did they look like they hurt. Who in their right mind walked about on spikes? 

Rey was tired and confused. If this was her next interrogator, could she be worse than Ren?

“Ma’am.” The door trooper nodded slightly, holding up a hand. “This is a restricted cell.” 

“Says who.” Rey blinked at how the woman talked down to the trooper. She sounded like Ren alright. Anxiety began bubbling in the pit of Rey’s stomach. This was going to be a very long, very difficult day. 

“S-Say’s Lord Ren.” The trooper stammered, clearly not expecting defiance. His grip of his blaster went from commanding to more of that of a child holding onto a security blanket. 

“And I’m his wife so step aside.” The woman snapped, not waiting for an answer as she rudely shoved the trooper aside. Her own escort sidling up to him and placing a gentle, yet firm hand on the other man’s shoulder. 

Kylo Ren’s wife? The monster had a wife? God’s above, Rey let out a tiny distressed sigh. For someone to love a man such as he, this woman must be a monster. 

“What did he want from you? What did you do to make him so angry?” The woman stood a few feet away, arms crossed in clear annoyance. 

Rey blinked, unsure of how to respond. 

“I. um. Sorry. Why are you asking me?” Rey watched annoyance mix with frustration for a second, before the woman rolled her eyes and sighed. 

“Let me guess. You think I’m a monster because I’m married to dickbag supriem?” She smiled as Rey’s mouth open in shock. 

“I’m a trophy wife. A once well respected princess now a disrespected pawn.” 

Rey’s eyebrow raised further. She wondered just how mean Ren was to this woman to get such scathing sarcasm to roll out of such a pretty face. 

“Oh. I’m sorry?” Rey felt very awkward. This was not something she’d expected to deal with when kidnapped by a intergalactic murderer. 

“So?” The woman, glanced at the door, a nervousness hiding in her eyes.

“Oh!” Rey looked about, unsure of what to do. If she helped this woman, would she be set free? 

“I saw into his mind. I saw his fear of a man named Darth Vader. His fear of failure. Of never being as great as this Vader man.” 

Ren’s Wife nodded, a delicate hand tapping at her chin. She seemed to understand this fear. And she seemed peeved by it. 

“I...I have the map to skywalker. The part he’s missing.” 

At this the other woman frowned, clear frustration flitting across her face. Rey didn’t really understand, this was all so foreign and new. Nothing like what she was used to on Jakku. 

“I see. Thank you.” The woman nodded to her, turning swiftly to the door. “I’ll be back.” 

And with that she was gone. Leaving her alone again with a now disgruntled trooper. 

“Stupid bitch.” He muttered, turning away from Rey to lock the door. 

Well. It didn’t matter if she’d be back. Rey wasn’t waiting any longer. She had to help her friends. 

 

\-------------------------

 

Your heels tapped out a swift rhythm as you practically flew down the hallways. Ty was jogging behind you just to keep up as you blindly turned corner after corner. 

All that anger for nothing? Beating up your droid? Smacking your trooper about? 

All because that girl could see?

You stopped suddenly, fear, deep and endless suddenly swallowing you. Faintly you heard Ty curse as he tripped trying not you crash into you. Out of the corner of your eye you saw him go sprawling across the floor. Helmeted head smacking into the wall. 

But you took no notice. Your mind was currently in a complete and utter state of panic. It was like your wedding day all over again. But this time you weren’t the desired pawn.

Rey was stronger than you. She could use the force. She was of value. True and real value to Snoke. To Ren. 

His words from the first heart to heart came back to you. Him respecting you, fearing you. 

But now? Now there was Rey.

You took off again, heart pounding in your ears. You felt sick, fear so strong you could feel it nipping at your heels, spurring you on faster and faster. 

Whipping about another corner, you recognized the hallway, relief and fear filling your gut completely. Running down towards your door. His door, you felt as if the hallway went on for eons.

But finally, FINALLY, you reached it. A shaking finger jabbing in the door code. First attempt wrong. You cursed, shaking harder as your lungs struggled for air. The panic almost completely consuming you. 

“Lady Y/N!” Ty was panting, running up. You glanced wildly at him, jabbing again at the pin pad. The trooper stopped a few feet away, his silence full of apprehension. 

The door slid open and you felt a slight relief. 

“Go. Go back to your. To your room.” You let out a shaky breath. “Just. Just go okay?” 

He nodded and you felt so grateful. Ty was truly a friend. 

Your shaking continued as the metal doors slid quietly behind you. The rooms were quiet. You had left BB behind, not wanting his loud childlike beeping to give you away. But he had not come to greet you.

The fear that had followed you in the hallway had caught up. It’s icy claws gripping you heart. Making it hard for you to breath. You buckled under it. Gasping as you seemed to be drowning in very air. 

You gagged. Spit dripping onto the polished floor. You heard movement, but didn’t, couldn’t bother to try and look. The fear was so consuming that it felt as though you were dying. And perhaps you were. 

Black dots popped into your field of view. Each dot getting larger and larger until finally, you blacked out. 

 

\-------------------------

The field was large, seeming to never end. You lay in the soft grass, enjoying the sun which beat down upon your form. Not too hot, just warm enough to keep the coolness of the slight breeze to be refreshing. The white dress you wore was light, swaying with the movement of the grass. 

You were confused. But the feeling was hazy, dull. A distant memory.

Closing your eyes, you let out a sigh. It was so pleasant, so warm. You wished you could stay here forever. This place was without strife, without fear. It was a sanctuary.

“You can’t stay here.” 

Your eyes snapped open at the sound of a woman’s voice. You sat up, eyes wide as you stared about for the source of the voice. 

“Where are you?” 

You stood, scanning the field. But, nothing. Just acres upon acres of soft grass and small flowers. There was just you. 

“Here.” 

You whipped about, breath catching as a woman, who was nowhere near you before, now stood in the field, grabbed similarly to you. Her soft brown hair hang loose, gently moving in the wind. She looked regal, the softness of her smile and form contrasting greatly with the sharp cunning look in her eyes. 

“Who are you?” You stood stock still, feeling awkward and unsure. She carried a power with her that unnerved you. Scared you. 

The woman tilted her head slightly, a brief look of disappointment crossing her face. As though she had expected you to know her. 

“I am Padme.” She took a step forward, taking your hand in hers. You noted how translucent her hand appeared. You could see your own beneath her fingers. 

The name rang a bell faintly. You stared into her eyes, brow furrowed. She was so so familiar. And yet, you could have sworn you had never seen this woman before.

“Do I know you?” 

She tilted her head slightly, “Not quiet. You know my grandson. My daughter. And soon, my son.” 

You blinked, holding back a sassy retort. That did not clear anything up. She was clearly royal and you knew so so so many royal families. What was this dream? This field? 

“Ben.” You blinked, the name Leia had said to Ren. 

Wait. You stood up straighter as understanding struck your mind like lightning. 

Kylo Ren was Leia’s son. Padme's family. Her smile returned as she watched, clearly aware of the connection you had made. This brother then had to be Skywalker. 

“So why am I dreaming of you?”   
Padme's smile turned sad. The hard cunning in her eyes melting into a motherly glance, “ I am dead, as you no doubt have figured out.”

You nodded, glancing again at the hand that held yours. 

“Your pain called out across the force. So loud, so bare.” Tears were welling in her eyes as a memory seemed to plague her. You waited in silence, watching the other woman struggle with her own past. 

“I know that pain. I felt it as I died. As Anakin fought his mentor and brother.” 

You nodded slowly, understanding, but not quite. 

“You do not have to fear death at the hands of your husband.” Padme's eyes turned stormy, her hand tightening painfully. 

“There is someone so much worse hunting you both.” 

You opened your mouth to ask who and faltered as the blackness again began to seep across your vision. You swayed and then fell, the soft grass coming up and swallowing you. 

Returning you to the inky black void of your mind. 

 

\---------------------------------

 

Something wet dripped onto your eyelid, sliding down to rest for a moment on your nose before dripping off the edge. You shifted, slowly becoming aware of how uncomfortable you felt. You lay awkwardly, crunched up against something warm and…..shaking? 

You reach up, brushing at the wet spot, flinching as more dripped onto your hand. Not bothering to open your eyes, not having the strength really, you reached up and brushed at whatever hovered inches from your face. 

Broad cheekbones covered by soft, clammy skin met your fingertips. You flinch as a large hand snatches your up, pressing it against shaking lips that deliver small kiss after small kiss. 

“Ben?” You whisper, your dazed state making you slip up, revealing what you know. But he doesn’t respond with anger like you thought. Even with your eyes still closed you can tell, nothing but relief pours from him. 

“What happened?” His voice is low and husky, shaking as you had before. You cracked open an eye slowly, wincing at the light. You looked over him, he was a wreck. Dark hair hanging down in sweaty locks. Kylo’s pale face was red and streaked with tears, his eyes puffy from crying. 

Your memory flooded back in. The panic you had felt, that had incapacitated you. The fear of him. 

Your heart jumped slightly at the memories, your shaking returning. Kylo noted this, standing swiftly, you in his arms. He stumbled towards your shared room, his usual grace seemingly gone. 

Placing you on the bed, he crawled in next to you, cradling you tightly. His eyes, red and glassy with unshed tears pierced yours, waiting for you to talk. 

You remained quiet wondering if you even should. If he’d use that weakness against you. 

“Ty-1355 ran for me...after you shooed him away” Kylo reached out and brushed your hair back, his hand resting gently on your cheek. 

His brow furrowed as he visibly held back tears. “I found you on the floor, unresponsive.” 

Your heart broke for him. This man was feared, was considered a monster. But to him, you were a great treasure. He didn’t hate you, he didn’t view you as you had thought.

Reaching out with your hand, you placed it on his cheek, mimicking him. Taking a big breath, you project into is mind.

He jolts slightly, eyes going wide as he took in the fear you felt. His brow furrowing as understanding, sadness and frustration flit across his face. Your pain confused him and saddened him. 

“Oh love.” Your husband let out a shaky breath. Pulling you close, breaking the mental connection. He buried his face in your shoulder, his dark hair tickling your nose. 

“You are not replaceable. You are my queen. My heart.” 

You felt relaxed, twining your legs with his and burying your face in his chest. 

But your relaxed state ends shortly as you remember what Padme had said. You sat up, pulling Kylo with you.

“I had a vision Kylo.” Your voice was shaky and hoarse. You started in earnest at him, one hand on his chest. His eyes search yours, noting the fear in your voice. 

“I saw a woman. Padme. She said someone is hunting us.” Your voice shakes as you begin to as well. Ren’s face is stony, his eyes going dark.

“No. I won’t let that happen.” He grabbed you in a tight hug.

“I’d do anything to keep you safe. I swear Y/N.”

You nodded into his chest, fingers curling into his rough black shirt. His hand came up, gently resting on your head. Slowly, you slipped into a force aided sleep. 

Kylo didn’t sleep that night. He sat, your head on his lap, one hand gently resting on your side. The other tightly gripping the hilt of his saber. 

Kylo didn’t know what the future held. Only one thing was for certain. You. And he would do anything, ANYTHING. To keep you safe. Even kill his own master. Aid the rebels. 

His hand gripped the saber’s handle tighter, knuckles cracking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eyyyy. Sorry for the long hiatus. Life has been crazy. I've been sick a lot on top of dealing with school. But good news! I graduated! And I've found a job in my field. So hopefully I'll have more time for writing now.


	10. Flight of the Princess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The resistance has attacked and you're forced to flee. But where was Kylo?

You awoke with a scream burbling in the back of your throat. The shadow that had chased you through your dreams seemed to linger in the waking world. Your heart was full of fear and a sickness you had never felt before. With a sharp inhale you sat up swiftly, wanting to rid yourself of the last dregs of the dream. 

You forehead smacked hard against Kylo’s, the man had apparently fallen asleep with you on his lap. You cried out quietly, falling back onto his lap as tears of pain leaking across your cheeks. 

Damn that hurt. It hurt worse than you would’ve thought smacking foreheads with someone would. 

You jolted as with a growl, Kylo awoke. He was like a junkyard dog, feral and ready to fight. Clearly confused and on edge, his lips pulled back in a half snarl. It a rather terrifying sight you mused through the throbbing in your forehead.

But before you could even say anything, you found yourself shrieking as you were hurtled over the edge of the bed, Kylo rolling on top of you in a defensive crouch as the ominous buzz of his saber started up. 

Between the head smack, being thrown onto the floor and still being half asleep, you were extremely dazed. Now the back of your head hurt as much as your forehead. A faint ringing sounded in your ears, not helping it in the slightest.  
You raised a shaking hand to push your hair out of your eyes, letting out a loud sigh as you did. Kylo was relaxing slightly, looking about blearily as he seemed to determine the threat to be nonexistent. Talk about a itchy trigger finger, except with Kylo it was a full body reaction. 

Though, you mused, it probably had saved his life on many an occasion.

“Sorry.” Your voice was a little shaky with nerves and sleep. You rubbed again at your forehead, wincing at the now tender spot.  
No doubt you’d sport a lovely bruise in a few hours. Kylo had an unusually hard head. You laughed a little to yourself. Wondering how the commander of the First Order would feel about being called hard headed. Probably would not laugh as you did.

“Sorry. I meant to keep watch.” Kylo grunted lowly, his voice was rough as though his throat was full of sand. Standing up quickly and dusting off his uniform, the tall man sighed, blinking blearily. His hair was a mess, he had dark circles under his eyes. It was a dreary sight. 

“I have to get to work. Interrogate that prisoner.” Kylo grunted, running a hand over his face.

You nodded, standing as well. As much as you hated to admit it to yourself, you’d have to put your meddling to the side. If someone was truly after you, it was wise not to put yourself in positions of danger. And as much as you’d like to spend the day tailing after Kylo, you didn’t foresee it as a possibility. 

You’d just get in the way. It was a slightly depressing notion.

You watched as your husband stomped out of your rooms, helmet secured and cape swishing about his ankles like great wings. He was once more the scary and murderous Commander Ren.

As soon as he had left, Ty and a set of four other troopers sidled in, all saluting you and taking positions at the door. You nodded slightly, wondering just how many more waited outside.

Ty approached you, tugging his helmet off and giving you a small smile. He looked tired and nervous. You smiled back, hoping you didn’t look too rough. Little sleep and a morning of adrenaline left you a lot more tired than normal. 

“Hello Ma’am! I hope this morning is well.” The trooper’s voice was forcefully cheerful and you knew Ty was trying to keep you from being frightened. You appreciated the notion.

“Just call me Y/N, Ty. And no. This morning is confusing and sad.” You sighed, flopping back onto your bed. You found your eyes once more trained on the ceiling, just as the day before. Well almost. Ty’s weirdly pale face crept into your field of view, his pink eyes narrowed in concern. You avoided his eyes for a moment, then sighed heavily.  
“I think someone is going to try and kill me and Kylo.” You admitted quietly, waiting for the shock or mortification he’d no doubt display.

Ty didn’t however, just nodded. Of course he knew. Why else did you have 4 new troopers in your room.

“Well, Me and the others are gunna be in here to keep you safe. Captain Phasma is stationed outside the doors.” 

He smiled faintly, the motion twisting the silver scars that mottled his face. You stared, noting how they looked like the rivers that ran through your home planet’s mountains. Ty’s face flushed pink, clearly uncomfortable with your staring.

“Um. And Hux is apparently on standby to help… Or something.” He added lamely, the sour look on his face letting you know just how the trooper felt about the red-headed General. 

“Alright. Let me get dressed.” You motioned him out of the room, absentmindedly plucking at the rough fabric of the trooper uniform you still had on. Though scratchy, it was quite comfortable. If ill-fitting. But not good day gear for a Commander's wife to be in, nor a princess. 

You tentatively sniffed at yourself, wrinkling your nose slightly. A bath would be in order as well. It seemed you had sweat a lot in the night. No doubt a result of the horrid dreams that had plagued you. The shadowy figures, the blasters and sabers that threatened to take your life. 

And as much as you didn’t feel like showering, you knew you shouldn’t allow yourself to become a hermit. You had duties and obligations. And you had a feeling that if you didn’t shower, Ren would help you to. And not in the sexy kind of way, more in the washing the gross family pet kind of way.

Stripping quickly, you turned on the shower in the refresher. Stepping under it’s icy spray, you squeaked quietly before adjusting it to a more bearable temperature. You quickly lathered your hair up, wanting to rid it of the sweat and grease. Sighing, you felt the water easing out the tensions in your body, relaxing you. 

The water felt so so nice and for just a moment, you wished you could stay in the warm spray forever. Let it fill the room and become the lone mermaid of this icy husk of a planet. Though you supposed on this planet and ice mermaid would sorta just be frozen forever. Not really majestic.  
But the idea of an ice mermaid…..that would be interesting.

You had seen the mermaids in the tropical lands. Some far off planet you father had brought you to when you were a child. They were beautiful, long hair and shimmering skin that melded with glistening scales. So beautiful, but also deadly, attempting to lure you and your cousin into the deep blue waters. They apparently enjoyed human flesh the most, something that was not in any story book.  
Needless to say, the guards weren’t too happy with that visit. 

You smiled at the memory, wishing for the simplicity of childhood again. The nostalgia didn’t last. It morphed quickly into a familiar sadness. One you had spent your entire time here hidden. Homesickness was truly awful.

You jumped as a loud and demanding alarm went off. Heart pounding, you looked about wide eyed. The refresher was suddenly filled with a sickly red light as an alarm you had never seen before, began blinking. 

Great. Just what was this? 

“Um, Sorry. Uh, gee, ok.” Ty blundered into the refresher, one hand clasped firmly across his eyes, a black gown clutched in the others. He stumbled over the hem, wobbling like a baby fawn. 

“Um. My lady. We need to go like now.” Panic cracked his voice and you could see him visibly shaking as he thrust the dress in your general direction. 

Was this it? Had the mysterious killer come for you? 

Oh god. Had they already killed Kylo?

You quickly shut off the water, drying and snatching the dress from your rather flustered trooper. Pulling it on, you turned slightly, poking the man.

“Zip me up. What’s happening?” Though fear had settled in your chest like an ugly little bird, you remained calm. You had to, knowing that if you showed panic, Ty might lose it completely. His hands shook as he quickly zipped up your dress. You turned around, looking into his eyes for any sort of answer. But Ty’s eyes only held a similar fear, he was just as confused as you.

Grabbing your hand, he tugged you out of the refresher and into the living room. The four other troopers stood, one carrying a bag of what looked like your clothing, another holding out Ty’s helmet.

Before you could ask once more what was going on, you felt the room shake. No, the planet. The entire base was under attack then? 

You rooms doors swished open, Phasma stomping in, blaster at the ready. You couldn’t see her face but you could tell she was pissed as all hell. Not a good sign. 

“Move NOW.” She snapped, the troopers all leaping like frightened deer at her harsh command. 

You moved quickly too, your bare feet smacking against the hallway in a weird harmony with the stomp of the troopers’ boots. Your foot caught the edge of your dress and you cursed, frowning down at the cumbersome thing. Of all the dresses to pick, Ty picked the biggest and ugliest of the gowns you had been given. You supposed in an emergency that didn’t matter, but still. How could you run when you were wearing a skirt that literally had metal boning in it to keep it stiff. 

You noted Ty looking apologetically at you. Or rather you assumed so. His helmet was impassive, but his shoulder slant conveyed a sheepish apology. Either that or the gun he currently carried was too heavy. 

“Ooof.” You gasped as you connected with Phasma’s armor clad arm. She stood stock still, head cocked slightly. You frowned as you realized that there was now the sounds of fighting growing louder. Tie-fighters and X-wings. Screams and blaster shots. 

You shuddered, you had never seen war, never viewed it. Your comfortable castle life had no room for that. Perhaps had you been a prince it would have been on your daily education list rather than needlepoint. But you were not and this was new. This was terrifying. 

“TY-1355, Take her to the escape pod. RV-2287 and RE-9912, you and I will block this hallway, keep them from advancing to our lady.” 

Phasma pulled a device off her belt, throwing it to the ground. It bloomed into what looked like a mini gun/droid. The two troopers took positions next to it, blasters at the ready.

“Wait.” You cried as Ty began tugging you to the left hallway, “Phasma! What about Kylo?!” 

The chrome trooper turned her back to you, raising her blaster in a defensive pose. 

“He’s dealing with the breach.” 

And then you were being whisked away. Ty and the two remaining troopers in a triangle formation as you ran confused and dazed in the middle of them. 

The breach? Did the girl escape? Did someone come for her? 

You knew not what was going on. They say idiocy is bliss, but not knowing made you feel more vulnerable and scared. It was like traversing a cave without light. You had a vague idea but no real clue. 

“Ok. Ummmm, Shit.” Ty was at a pinpad, frantically typing a code into it. It beeped, flashing green and then a hidden door slid open, a long, cramped hallway stretching out before you. Ty went in first, turning to grab your hand.

You stood stock still, face pale. The beep had reminded you of something very, very important. Something you hadn’t seen in a full day. 

“Ty. Where’s BB?” You asked, voice shaking. The troopers had went slack, his shoulders slumping as he first looked behind you, then farther down the hallway.

“You don’t have him? Commander Ren doesn't have him?” 

You shook your head, tears welling in your eyes as your lip trembled. Where was your little droid? How could you have failed to notice it missing until now? 

A blast shook the hallway, the smell of burning oil and something else penetrating the air with its foul stench. You grabbed Ty’s hand, running behind him as your small group made their way through this secret tunnel. 

A small vessel awaited you at the end. Hidden in a large bubble like chamber. It was freezing, the cold of the outside leaking in through invisible cracks. The icy air made the tears that streaked your face feel as though made of fire. Your heart was a mess. Anxiety for Kylo, for BB was all consuming. 

Boarding the craft, you sat dejectedly in the small holding area. Grabbing one of the blankets it had stored, you curled up on the seat, pulling it about you in silence.

Ty sat next to you, pulling off his helmet and giving you a worried, scared look. The two other troopers walked into the cockpit, tossing your bag to you as they strapped in and started up the ship. It took off with a roar, the walls of the chamber crumbling and the cold, white terrain becoming apparent. 

You looked away from it. From the death and fighting. 

“Where will we go?” You whispered, staring at the bag and it’s now partially spilled contents. 

“Honestly. No idea.” Ty admitted, running a hand through his sweaty white hair. He sighed, “Phasma said that those two know and Hux and Kylo. But apparently I can’t know because of whatever.” 

You sat up, smiling slightly. You had never heard the trooper talk so informally.He looked massively peeved, ears and neck mottled slightly red in irritation. 

“Do you have a communicator?” You asked, holding out a hand, knowing the answer. You smiled as a the cold device was placed in your palm. 

Fiddling it, you frowned, hit a few buttons and managed to find General Hux. You were pretty sure Ty didn’t have access to talk to the general. But you were sure being called nonstop would eventually make the General snap and pick up to solely yell at whoever was so foolish to call him.

It worked. Almost too well. 

A small, angry holo appeared. Hux was furious, starting in without evening bothering to wait for a greeting.

“TO THINK YOU COULD CALL ME?! GENERAL HUX???! LOWLEY TROOPER?? WHAT GIVES YOU TH-” He paused, suddenly understanding that he was not talking to a trooper, but in fact yelling at the wife of the very angry Kylo Ren. 

“My lady.” He dipped his head, fear evident in his eyes. “To what do I owe the pleasure?” 

You refrained from rolling your eyes, opting instead to purse your lips and glower in silence for a few moments. 

The holo-feed flickered, Hux’s evident discomfort growing with each passing second. He opened his mouth to speak again and you raised a finger, eyes narrowing. The ginger nodded, his lips twitching slightly as he attempted to not show his obvious distaste at you having any type of control.

Another few seconds passed and you had to fight every fiber of your being not to laugh at the current shaking Hux’s face was making in such a large attempt not to snap at you. You were sure he was bright red.

“So. Armitage. Just what is going on?” You refrained from being too snappish. The man already clearly hated you, you didn’t want to give him an excuse to shut off the holo-vid. You could see the very notion cross his mind as a petulant scowl settled across his face.

“And why should I tell you?” He snarked, raising one eyebrow in a smug look. You laughed lightly, remembering how your mother had handled insubordinate men who thought her to be a mindless ditz. 

“Because if you don’t I’ll do everything in my power to ensure your name is tarnished and you never have anyone’s respect or fear ever again.” 

You let the last part hiss out, watching with satisfaction as the general stiffened and huffed. He knew you meant business. It amused you to watch him squirm with distaste. Anger seemed to consume him, his left eye twitching slightly.

“The girl got free and Rebels are attacking the base.” Hux looked like he was dying just from that small tidbit of information. 

“And where are you?” You squinted at him as he shifted, clearly peeved. The red head appeared to mutter something under his breath, while simultaneously tugging at his collar. You both flinched as a large cat jumped into frame, meowing instantly for Hux’s attention. 

Your initial surprise that the man had the capacity to take care of cat wore off quickly. Cats were personal. Personal items where not kept on any bridge of any ship or defense station.

So Armitage Hux had fled. How fitting of the coward. He knew what it meant if you told and opened his mouth to protest. But no. Not today.

With a disgusted grunt, you flipped it off, tossing the communicator into a corner. 

This was great. Rebels attacking the base. Who knew where your husband would be. And where were you headed? Did he know where you were going?

Standing up, you made your way into the cockpit. The two troopers nodded politely, keeping their eyes on the many panels. You assumed that’s what they were doing. Those damn helmets made them seem so inhuman. But that was probably the point.

The great expanse of space was truly mind blowing. But rather than the normal expense of stars and occasional planets, you now saw the true carnage of a space battle. 

Broken ship parts lay scattered. Burnt crumbs in the great murky tea. Wires sparked feebly, their dying light casting sickly shadows upon the husks of ships. It was a graveyard.

“Where will we go?” You didn’t mean to whisper, but the sight of so much loss had quieted the frustrations your mind had held.

The trooper on the right pulled up a holo video. You watched as Phasma came into view, intonning a set of coordinates. You frowned, they were familiar. Had you been shown them before? 

“Okay.” You frowned slightly, “And Kylo?” 

The troopers shared a glance and shrugged. They didn’t know any more than you did. Or if they did they were very good at hiding it. 

Walking back to Ty, you once more curled up in your chair, pulling the blankets about you. You should rest while you could. After all, you had no idea when the next opportunity would be. 

 

\-------------------------------

 

Unbeknownst to you, BB was just fine. Pretty happy actually. When you had gone off without the droid to look for the girl, BB had slipped out, heading off on its own little mission. 

While you had been in the care of the Resistance, Poe had outfitted BB with a small communicator. The droid hadn’t known until Kylo had kicked it and opened the small panel the device had been hidden in. 

Not being a fool, the little droid had raced away at first opportunity, wedging itself in the back hangar bay. Using its little arms, the droid opened the communicator and plugged in. Beeping softly to itself. 

It was an unfamiliar face that popped up. A grumpy looking old man who squinted and snorted at BB’s beeping. He did not look happy to be taking a call from a droid.

“What the hell is this?” He gruffed, “Why is a droid calling you Finn?” 

Another unfamiliar face popped into view. This man wore Poe’s jacket and looked just as confused. BB felt that this man was much more kind, but still, neither were Poe. 

BB beeped indignantly, demanding to see Poe. The little droid had no time to make new friends, it needed Poe! 

“Poe isn’t here.” The old man rubbed his nose angrily, looking about as if expecting to be attacked. He looked cold. 

“Wait. You’re a First Order droid!” The younger man cut the older one off, excitement in his eyes. 

“Can you open up something for us? We need to find our friend!” 

BB considered it for a moment. On one little metal hand, it didn’t know them at all. On the other, They must know Poe. 

Beeping in confirmation, BB decided to help. 

After all. It knew that Poe could save you. And that’s all that mattered to the little droid. For you to be somewhere safe, where you could be happy. 

 

\--------------------------------

 

You awoke with a hand shaking you gently. It was Ty, helmet secured back over his face. 

“We’ve arrived.”

You nodded blearily, standing up and brushing half heartedly at your gown. Grabbing your poorly packed bag, you straightened. Bracing for whatever dark hell hole you now no doubt were going to be confined to. 

Ty went first out of the small door and you followed, blinking in surprise at the soft light that was slowly growing brighter. 

You gasped as you stepped out into a warm breeze carrying familiar smells. The soft light was a from a moonrise you knew all too well. The light twinkled across the facade of the castle that lay sprawled before you. 

“Y/N!” It was your mother, running forward to sweep you up in a warm hug. You cried into her shoulder, feeling a rush of relief and safety. 

You were home. Home!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if you guys are liking the direction this is going in! And any characters you'd like to see more of or get added? (And how is Ty? First time I've really added my own character.)


	11. Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're home, but not for long

Weeks had passed. Your world as you had known it for the past few month was no more. The only reminder was the ring on your finger and the trio of Storm Troopers that followed you like a gaggle of geese. Your planet was as it had been when you were a child, free, full of life and laughter once more. The rich hillsides and clear sky seemed so foreign yet it was home.

Was it all just a bad dream? 

You blinked blearily at the high ceiling of your bedroom. The familiar sight made you feel a mixture of emotions. On one hand you were home. The Empire was most likely no more and you were free of Snoke’s will.

On the other hand, Kylo was gone, and the entire kingdom tip-toed around you as though at any moment you’d snap. 

So no it wasn’t a bad dream. It was a waking nightmare of mixed emotions and an overbearing sense of loneliness. You childhood home was the same, the same planet of people terrified of an absent dictator.

Except you had returned. You had returned and it terrified them. Servants shook as they entered your room. Acting as mice around a cat. They flinched every time you moved. One girl had shrieked, fainting when you had stood abruptly during your “welcome home” dinner. And when your troopers moved? They fled like rats from a terrier. 

So for the most part, you were alone. Well nearly, your gaggle of troopers were always close by. Rigid guardians, all of them uneasy and uncomfortable. While Ty and Rx-4200 (whom you’d taken to calling Prescription silently) became bodyguards, the third who had escaped with you, Mai (rather Ma-1000) became a pseudo handmaiden/personal assassin. 

The trio roomed in your large chambers, barely sleeping as they watched over you. 

“My lady.” Mai’s hand smacked your arm gently, her stern face pinched in its usual sour expression. The poor woman had a major case of resting bitch face, but in a way, it was her main weapon. One look from this 6 foot amazon, any person with a shred of sense would flee.

“Your parents request your presence.” She grunted, running a hand through her spiky blue hair. You took the data pad she handed over, frowning at the brief message.

You chewed thoughtfully on your lips. No more just simple family meetings. Your mother and father no longer just popped into your room to say hello. No, your presence was just “requested”, you the horrid wife of the commander. 

“Ok.” “You sighed, brushing off your pale pink gown as you stood.

“Ty, Rx let’s go.”

Both men nodded, hooking their blasters on as they also stood, walking swiftly to stand beside you. Left behind an unfinished plate of pastries and a game of cards. You smiled slightly, amused, pastries as betting chips, nice. Though they had gotten off on the wrong foot at first, the trio now were more like siblings then coworkers. It was strange, in the few weeks you had been here, the trio had become your friends. Though you knew they would never acknowledge it, in fear of Kylo ripping their heads off for insolence. 

“Everyone ready?” Your hand on your rooms door, you paused, looking at the trio. They nodded, standing close, eyes showing slight confusion at your hesitation. You weren’t sure why you hesitated, anxiety coiled in your stomach, a tense snake ready to strike.

Mai put a gentle hand on your shoulder, squeezing it briefly. 

Opening the door would be a mistake, you knew. Yet you let out a shaky breath, turning back to the door. Because you knew you had to face whatever lay beyond. And with that, you shoved the door open.

You heard Ty cry out as the cold muzzle of a blaster was rammed against your throat. Mai’s hand grazed yours as she attempted to pull you back, but your attackers had grabbed you tightly by the arms, gun still firmly held at a painful angle under your jaw. You were spun about, facing your angered trio of protectors. All three held their blasters with white knuckled grips.

“Drop your blasters you scum troopers” A harsh voice barked near your ear. You scoffed lightly at the pathetic insult, then winced as the blaster was shoved harder into your flesh. While you couldn’t see the face of who held you, you could see the twitching of his trigger finger. It terrified you.

Ty and the others complied, eyes narrowed in anger and fear. Anger at the ambush, fear for what would happen should you be kidnapped or worse, killed. Mai shook and you knew she was weighing the pros and cons of jumping at your attackers.

You however felt completely calm. It was strange, for some reason, opening the door was more terrifying than having a blaster slowly cutting off your air supply. 

Glancing up to your attacker, you rolled your eyes. Of course, the resistance. The patch on his jacket seemed glared at you mockingly. He glared at you, all but his eyes hidden by a sandy face mask. 

You couldn’t believe you hadn’t seen it coming. Of course you had been turned in. Your planet had been considered neutral since your wedding. It wasn’t at all surprising your family and others had turned to those who could fight their previous tormentors. 

“Let’s go.” Your captors snarled, yanking you along roughly as others began crowding about the troop trio. You felt your blood go cold. They were dressed all in black. Not your typical resistance gear. Something more sinister.   
Would they kill your troopers? You knew they’d leave you alive, you were valuable after all. But the troopers? To your captors they were nothing.

You twisted painfully, trying to catch a glimpse of them as you were whisked away. The hands on your arms painfully tight. Right before you rounded a corner, you saw Ty’s face, his eyes round with fear. But as your eyes met, he cracked a wobbly smile, one that didn’t meet his terror stricken eyes.

The hand on your arm tightened even more, cruel blue eyes glaring down at you. You didn’t know this man, you didn’t know what his purpose here was. But you knew his intent, it rolled off his skin in waves, sickening hatred, twisted cruel glee and murderous thoughts. He was part of the resistance, but his demeanor was the complete opposite. In short, you were now a rabbit in the jaws of a rabid wolf. And he meant to kill you as slowly as he could. You glanced up at him, trying to hid your fear.

"Kylo will find me." You spat, stumbling over the hem of your dress. Your captor laughed harshly, eyes twinkling. 

"Oh I know. I expect it." He yanked your arm, almost pulling you off balance. You winced, gritting your teeth in defiance. Everything you were doing was just amusing this asshole. You were beginning to feel hopeless. And you knew he sensed that.

“I think it’s best for you to sleep now.” He chuckled. You flinched at the sound, tensing as the blaster was swung up high above his head.

As it swung back down, you slammed your eyes shut. 

And with a sickening crack reverberating in your skull, you were unconscious.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ty wasn’t sure which way was up and which was down. All he knew was that he’d just survived the worst beating of his life. Or perhaps the second worst, after all he had failed and survived. Ren was sure to beat him senseless before swiftly chopping off his head.

Blood trickled into his throat, he was pretty sure his nose was broken. Though he couldn’t feel it. Ty coughed lamely, pain radiating through his jaw. Maybe his jaw was broken as well, or at least some teeth were. Ty swiped his tongue over his swollen lips, disgusted at the rusty taste it filled his mouth with. Looks like his whole face was pretty wet as well and the trooper knew it was blood that was slowly cooling on his face. 

He couldn’t see, his eyes were swollen shut after all, bruising and probably a fractured orbital bone. If he was lucky. Ty figured he might’ve been blinded, it was possible. After all, crowbars to the face aren’t exactly gentle.

Fuck those resistance guys. They were brutal, unnecessarily so. 

He coughed, blood dripping out of his mouth, splattering across his ruined hands. Well Ty assumed it did. He knew that they were tucked up by his face, but he couldn't feel anything below his elbows. Adrenaline was a great body function at least till it wore off. Who knew how broken his body was. A world of pain awaited. Or not, he might die before help arrived. 

Where Rx and Mai alright?

Ty stilled, holding his breath. Yes, someone else was breathing, a weak rattle. But it was only one person. Shakily letting out his breath, Ty felt hopelessness settle in his heart.

The commander’s wife was gone. Whisked away by these monsters. They would kill her, or worse. Commander Ren might be a ruthless ass-hat, but his wife?

Under her tough exterior and sharp tongue, Ren’s wife was a thoughtful, caring woman.

“Oh my stars!” A woman’s voice shrieked, jolting Ty out of his thoughts. Her wailing was soon followed by heavy footsteps and horrified cries.

“Where is she!” 

Ty winced as a hand gently touched his shoulder. He knew the voice, Lady Ren’s mother?

“T-took.” Ty began, more blood slipping out of his ruined mouth. “Re-resits-tance.” 

Just those two words took so much out of him. Burning pain begining to slide its way over every inch of his skin. Jaw was broken for sure and Ty was pretty certain that the lump in his throat was a mixture of drying blood and teeth.

“What? No. FUCK, no!” A male voice spat. “No our men wouldn’t do this. We were coming to negotiate, not assault and kidnap!”

Ty laughed humorlessly, either way, they were fucked. They were all fucked. If Commander Ren had lived, he’d kill them all in search of her. At least it would end the current pain. It was heart stopping, Ty wished he could scream or cry, yet he could do neither.

“Get a med droid in here and three Bacta tanks.” The male voice snapped, “I want reports of all the shuttles that have taken off in the past hour.” 

Voices and feet rushed about, more orders were barked. Ty felt hands gently lifting him, the simple touches agony.   
Then soft comfort, must be the bacta tank he mused, the slick liquid swirling over the pain.

Maybe, just maybe, they’d save her. Ty’s last thought faded as unconsciousness swelled back up to meet him.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You awoke with a massive migraine pounding hard against the confines of your skull. You were cold, so so cold. 

Shivering, you slowly propped yourself up, looking about the dimly lit room you were in. It was either painted dark grey or it was really that dim, you squinted hard at the close walls. It was like a box, about as big as your bed, maybe 4 feet tall. 

Where were you?

Collapsing back down on the cold floor, you sighed shakily. Reaching a trembling hand up, you prodded at the throbbing spot on your skull. The action had a blinding pain shoot through your head, nearly making you pass out.

“Are you awake y/n?” A static voice hissed out. You winced, squinting about to see where it might be coming from. 

A low chuckle greeted your action. You scowled, wincing as the simple reaction shot pain through your head. 

“I hope you’re comfortable.” The voice started up again, sounding amused. “You need to sit tight for a while. QUIETLY. Until that ugly husband of yours arrives.”

Kylo?! You tried to suppress your sudden feeling of hope. He was looking for you, good.

Or maybe not.

The voice continued, glee rising in its tone, “Then I’ll gut you and make him watch!”

You shuddered, your stomach twisting in fear. Laying your head back on the cold floor, you closed your eyes. Right now, this maniac wanted a reaction out of you. And as a dignified woman of power, you were going to deny it. 

You would spend time with more fruitful endeavors. Projecting one thought out, as loud as you could.

 

‘DON’T LOOK FOR ME!!’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, finally updated this. I promise guys I haven't abandoned my fics. I just got a full time job lol. I'll be working on more chapters that'll be out in a little while. I take two buses to get 2 and from work, so time to actually write is limited! But thank you all for sticking around to read and welcome anyone new! :)

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy!! This is going to be a rather in depth story, so updates may be only once a week as I have two other stories I'm writing as well.


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